


Tahoe Beach

by kailovesdo (bangtancrazy)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 17:34:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12611788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bangtancrazy/pseuds/kailovesdo
Summary: When his high school bully starts making nice at their summer job, Kyungsoo is confused and suspicious.Highschool AU.Originally posted on AFF under kailovesdo, edited and crossposted here 11/3/17. (It’s me, I promise!)





	1. Kyungsoo's Story

Kyungsoo took a deep breath, welcoming the clean mountain air into his lungs. After a long day of travel, it was nice to feel the warmth of the sun and stretch his legs.

Today was the first day of his summer job at a resort in Lake Tahoe. Kyungsoo had really lucked out: the pay was great, the lake was beautiful and he’d escaped summer in the stifling suburbs of the Valley.

Best of all, he’d ensured there would be zero summer run-ins with Jongin Kim and his horde of jock-strapped minions.

Jongin was Kyungsoo’s classmate at Sacred Heart Academy and the school’s golden boy: captain of the soccer team, honor student, and homecoming king. His smooth sun-kissed skin, artfully untamed hair, long-lashed dark eyes and cocky winner’s smile had clinched his popularity from the start, though his flashy convertible and designer wardrobe didn’t hurt. At Sacred Heart, every girl wanted Jongin, and every guy wanted to be him.

Kyungsoo, on the other hand, was a quiet kid who liked drama and choir. He was small, pale, and baby-faced with wide, vulnerable brown eyes. Kyungsoo was also gay: the only openly gay student in their Catholic high school. This made him a huge target for bullying and, somewhere along the line, Jongin had decided he was the man for the job. Kyungsoo could never quite figure out why Jongin had it out specifically for him. He guessed maybe it was because they were both Korean and Jongin was afraid of guilt by association.

Over the years, Jongin’s bullying had included hurling homophobic slurs at Kyungsoo, throwing his backpack in the school’s fountain, locking him in a locker, and stealing his clothes while he was showering after gym class. 

So it was weird when, as graduation drew near, Jongin had abruptly quit bullying Kyungsoo, glowering at him from afar like some Korean Edward Cullen instead.

Kyungsoo was definitely relieved. He had plenty of other shit on his mind with finals looming, but still, it was kind of strange. After four years of harassment, Jongin had just…stopped.

A week before Kyungsoo graduated, a letter from “Tahoe Beach Resort” appeared in the mail with an offer of employment.

Kyungsoo couldn't recall having applied for any job in Tahoe, but hanging out at the lake looked like fun. Plus, it included room and board and paid $12 an hour. It was way too good to pass up, so Kyungsoo gratefully accepted.

\--

Kyungsoo smiled as he took in the resort's beautiful lakeside setting, marveling at his luck. He enthusiastically hefted up his suitcase and went inside. 

A man at the front desk looked up as he entered and smiled, waving him over.

“Hello,” he said brightly. “You must be Kyungsoo.” He stuck out his hand. “I’m Mr. Dayton. I’m the General Manager.”

“Yes, I’m Kyungsoo.” He shook the man’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Mr. Dayton scanned through a tablet. “Okay, orientation isn’t until tomorrow, so you can take it easy tonight. It looks like you’re in room 525. Here’s your key. If you’re lucky, you might catch your roommate before he goes to dinner.”

Kyungsoo thanked Mr. Dayton and made his way to 525. He was struggling with his room key when the door swung open, revealing the last human being on Earth he expected to see: Jongin Kim, looking brutally hot in jeans and a black t-shirt, cocky grin in place, his dark hair falling over his sleepy eyes.

Kyungsoo’s jaw hit the floor. "What the hell are you doing here?" He demanded.

Jongin smiled at Kyungsoo. “I’m here to work,” he shrugged. “How about you?”

Kyungsoo gave him a withering glare. “Weird…I didn’t know spoiled little shits like you knew how to work.”

Jongin blinked. “Uh, well m-my mom made me,” he stammered. “But wow, you’re here, too…that’s crazy.” He licked his lips and nodded. “And it looks like we’re sharing a room.”

Kyungsoo shook his head. “No. No fucking way.” He picked his bag back up and headed for the door.

“Wait!” Jongin objected. Kyungsoo turned, blinking at him in surprise.

Jongin picked at a braided bracelet on his wrist. “You need this job, right?"

Kyungsoo eyed him suspiciously. “What’s that supposed to mean?"

“Nothing, it’s just…you came all the way to Tahoe. You must really need the job."

Jongin had no idea how badly Kyungsoo did need this job. His parents had just sold their home and moved to a matchbox-sized apartment. If he went back to L.A. now, he’d have nowhere to go. But still, living in the same room as Jongin Kim sounded impossible.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jongin noted with nonchalance. “We’re not friends, it’s not like we’ll talk. And this room’s pretty big, so let’s just stay out of each other’s way and get through the summer.”

Kyungsoo set down his bags and plunked down on the edge of one of the sets of twin bunk beds. He buried his face in his hands and tried to decide what to do.

Jongin stood. “Anyway, it's dinner time,” he pointed out. “Let’s go. If you miss it, you go hungry.”

\--

Two weeks into the summer, Kyungsoo still hadn’t decided if he really wanted to be there. He was trying to take it one day at a time, but it was hard. He was frustrated that it was taking him so long to learn the ropes when Jongin seemed to be having no trouble at all. Kyungsoo couldn't stand letting Jongin see him struggle.

For his part, Jongin was endlessly patient with Kyungsoo, happily training the older boy whenever he could. Kyungsoo knew he must be laughing his ass off behind his back.

“They want us down at the pool,” Jongin announced one morning with a grin. “Come on!”

As they folded towels together, Jongin glanced over and chuckled at Kyungsoo’s folding job. 

“No, dude,” he smiled. “Here, try it like this…” Jongin showed Kyungsoo step-by-step.

“Oh…” Kyungsoo murmured. “So you fold it in half first.”

Jongin handed him a towel. “You try.”

As Jongin watched Kyungsoo work, the older boy saw a warm smile slowly dawn on Jongin’s face. His eyes narrowed.

“What?” Kyungsoo demanded. “Did you show me the wrong way and now you’re waiting for me to screw it up? Am I that funny to you? Do it yourself.” He shoved the towel at Jongin and stalked off, plunking down on a chair at the far end of the pool.

Jongin walked over a few seconds later.

“Kyungsoo," he said softly.

“What?” The older boy snapped.

“I know you won’t believe this, but I really regret how I acted in high school. I’m sorry I was such a dick.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I guess I just hoped that maybe, since we’re both here, we could try being friends.”

“Friends?” Kyungsoo snorted. “Do you have any idea how humiliating it was when you and your friends dumped my backpack out every other day? Or when you assholes stole my clothes in gym class? Any idea how it feels to be called 'faggot,' 'fairy,' and 'cocksucker' every day? Let me ask you, Jongin,” he was right in the bigger boy’s face now. “Do you think I have control over who I want to fuck? Do you think if I pray hard enough, I’ll like girls?”

Jongin was speechless, his face pallid and his eyes cast at the ground.

Kyungsoo shook his head with a rueful smile. “Forget it. A perfect little golden boy like you could never understand how it feels to be hated for who you are.” He walked away, headed to the beach, the dining room, basically anywhere he wouldn’t have to look at Jongin Kim.

\--

It wasn’t until the fourth week at Tahoe Beach that there was a moment when Kyungsoo sort of, begrudgingly, began to believe that there might actually be a human being inside Jongin Kim.

Kyungsoo was taking a break out on the hotel’s beachside sun deck when he heard a chorus of little voices. Kyungsoo looked up from his coffee in surprise to see Jongin jogging through the sand with a line of preschoolers in front of him. Kyungsoo watched in wonder as Jongin lead them in a very enthusiastic rendition of the alphabet song, grinning like a five-year-old hopped up on Skittles as he walked backwards at the front of the line.

“Okay, everybody STOP,” Jongin yelled. “Do any of you see a good place to play around here? Anybody?”

The kids laughed. One of them shrieked, “The playground! It’s right there!”

Jongin whirled around and gasped. “Wow, you’re right! There is a playground! Aw, but it’s closed today…”

“No, it’s not! There’s a bunch of kids there already!” A little girl squeaked.

“Oh…I guess you’re right,” Jongin agreed, nodding thoughtfully. “Well, go on then!”

The kids all streaked past Jongin shrieking and giggling, except for one tiny boy who attached himself to Jongin’s leg.

“You’re funny, Mr. Kim,” he piped. “I like you.”

Jongin laughed and pat the preschooler’s back. “I like you too, Paolo,” he said, waving as the child ran off.

Jongin glanced up then and noticed Kyungsoo watching. He turned pink and gave the older boy a sheepish grin. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile back.

\--

Halfway through the summer, the resort played host to a big wedding. The entire staff was rushing around like crazy to prepare.

Kyungsoo was attaching bouquets of white roses to a lattice arch when Mr. Dayton’s voice came over his walkie-talkie. “They need help in the kitchen.”

“Sure," Kyungsoo responded. "On my way.”

In the kitchen, Kyungsoo discovered a kid of about 16 or 17 with a messy apron tied around his waist. He was racing between the sink, the stove, and the oven, struggling to do a million things at once.

“Hey!” The boy looked incredibly relieved at the sight of Kyungsoo. “Are you here to help?”

Kyungsoo nodded.

“Oh, thank god. I need to get all these washed and cut up as soon as possible,” he said, gesturing at an enormous pile of veggies on the countertop. “My assistant quit today, can you believe that? I’m Luhan, by the way.”

“My name’s Kyungsoo.”

“Nice to meet you.” Luhan’s smile was cute and cheerful—actually, all of Luhan was cute and cheerful—and Kyungsoo liked him right away.

“I’m here, too!” Jongin called breathlessly as he appeared in the doorway. “I can help!”

Kyungsoo and Luhan looked up in surprise. “Oh, Jongin! Hi!” Luhan said. “Thanks, but you don’t have—”

"I want to,” Jongin said quickly, looking at Kyungsoo.

"Great! Well, I'm going to put you..." Luhan scanned the room. "There!" He pointed at a countertop opposite the one Kyungsoo stood chopping at. "I'll have you make rolls. Here, I'll get you set up."

Within five minutes, Luhan had delegated chores to the other boys and the kitchen was running like a well-oiled machine.

"So!" Luhan said brightly as he stuck a tray of hors d'ouvres in the oven. "Where are you from, Kyungsoo?"

"I'm from L.A. Northridge, actually. It's in the Valley."

"Northridge?" Luhan's eyebrows shot up. "Jongin, that's where you live, right?"

"Yes," Jongin answered tersely.

"Oh.” Luhan frowned. “Cool."

Luhan looked at Kyungsoo questioningly. The latter just rolled his eyes and shrugged.

Kyungsoo and Luhan chatted easily as they cooked. They discovered they shared an interest in singing and theatre and that they were both voice majors: Luhan attended Julliard and Kyungsoo was starting USC in the fall.

Every few seconds, Jongin glanced over at them with a deepening scowl.

 _What’s his problem?_ Kyungsoo wondered.

"I’m finished, Luhan,” Jongin said as he threw his rolls in the oven. “I'm going to go upstairs and rest for a while before dinner." Jongin looked at Kyungsoo. "Coming?"

"What?” Kyungsoo asked in confusion. “No, I'm not finished here."

"Fine." Jongin said with a vicious pout. He threw his apron on the countertop and strode out.

Luhan's eyes were huge. "Wow...that was strange. Jongin’s...kind of weird around you." 

Kyungsoo laughed. "Oh, that was nothing. He was a total dick to me in high school. We’re not exactly friends."

"I don’t know,” Luhan mused. “I’ve known him since we were kids and I've never seen him act like that."

"Well congratulations, you're finally seeing his true colors,” Kyungsoo sighed. “God, why is he here anyway? How the hell did we end up taking the same summer job?"

Luhan stared at Kyungsoo. "You don't know why he's here? Really?”

Kyungsoo shook his head.

"Jongin's parents own this resort,” Luhan said slowly. “His mom makes him work here every summer.”

"Jongin's family owns Tahoe Beach?" Kyungsoo asked, eyes wide with disbelief.

"Yeah," Luhan said. "You really didn't know?"

Kyungsoo's jaw clenched. "Excuse me a minute.”

He stormed out of the kitchen with Luhan calling, "Hurry back!" behind him. He strode to his room and threw open the door. Jongin looked up in surprise as Kyungsoo stalked over to where he lay lounging on the sofa.

"This is your family's place?" He hissed.

Jongin's face flushed. "H-how did you..."

"Who cares how?" Kyungsoo asked. “So this was all you, right? This job, this room?”

Jongin's face was flushed. "I heard you talking to the guidance counselor,” he confessed softly. “About needing a job because you’d be supporting yourself this summer.”

Kyungsoo looked at him disgust. “So you thought I wanted your charity?”

“No, that’s not it at all…”

“I'm leaving,” Kyungsoo said, grabbing his suitcase.

"Whoa, whoa!" Jongin jumped in front of the dresser with his arms spread out. "Why would you leave?"

"Because I fucking hate you!" Kyungsoo spat. "I don’t want anything to do with you and I sure as hell don't want your money!"

Jongin's face fell. "Yeah, I know." he said quietly, letting his arms fall to his sides. "I know. But you can't just leave. You signed a contract, right? It's way easier just to...just to stay, okay? Please?"

Kyungsoo looked at Jongin in shock. Jongin Kim was pleading with him to stay? 

"I need to think," Kyungsoo muttered.

Kyungsoo wandered out to the front of the hotel and sank onto one of the benches. None of this made sense. Jongin hated him. Why would he do all of this? What were his true motivations?

But then again, what did it matter? If he stormed out now, he'd be homeless with no money for books or rent in the fall...He'd end up at his uncle’s dry cleaning business in Reseda like last summer.

Kyungsoo rested his head in his hands. Today was July 1st. Six more weeks. He could do six more weeks. He wandered back to the room to find Jongin glued to his laptop, conspicuously avoiding Kyungsoo's eyes. He walked past Jongin and flopped onto his bed.

Jongin cleared his throat a couple times, but Kyungsoo ignored him. "So..." he finally ventured. "What's it gonna be? You staying?"

"I don’t know,” Kyungsoo grunted.

"Yeah, you do." Kyungsoo could hear Jongin smiling. He closed the laptop and crept over to the side of Kyungsoo's bed. "The truth is, you hate giving up even more than you hate me."

“Yeah, whatever.” Kyungsoo muttered, opening his eyes. 

Whoa. Jongin's face was really close. Normally, Kyungsoo did a pretty good job ignoring how hot Jongin was, but right now, with his face so near and that soft look in his eyes…

A sudden pounding at the door made them both jump.

"Hey!" Luhan's muffled voice came from the other side of the door. "The banquet’s starting! Let's go!"

\--

Kyungsoo was temporarily given the assistant cook’s position while human resources scrambled to find someone permanent. He was elated to be able to spend more time with Luhan. Kyungsoo was pleasantly surprised to learn that the baby-faced cook was actually three years older than him, openly gay, and single. Luhan was bubbly, sweet, easy to talk to, and unbelievably cute. Kyungsoo couldn't help but develop a little crush on him.

"So…what are you doing after work?" Luhan asked at the end of the week.

Kyungsoo considered. "Nothing really. Why?"

Luhan smiled shyly and rocked back and forth on his feet. "Well, there's a meteor shower tonight. Um...I was wondering if you wanna come watch with me?"

"Oh…" _Oh my god, he’s asking me out._  Kyungsoo blushed too. "Yeah, that would be fun," he said softly.

"Cool!” Luhan's smile was almost comically adorable. “I'll come by at 9:00. We'll steal some snacks from the kitchen and sneak out the back."

Kyungsoo laughed. "Okay, see you then.”

\--

When Kyungsoo got back to the room, Jongin was already there, pinning something to the wall.

"What is that?" Kyungsoo asked, grabbing a bottle of water and plunking down beside him.

"Oh. Well, one of the preschool campers I worked with last week went home today," Jongin said with a touch of melancholy. "But first he gave me this."

It was a brightly colored crayon drawing. There were green trees at the top and a sandy beach at the bottom and in the middle there were two figures: a big red scribble man and a smaller red scribble man holding hands. It was signed Paolo.

Kyungsoo's eyebrows popped up. " The little kid you were playing soccer with?"

Jongin smiled. "Yeah, you remember him? Anyway, the little guy really took a shine to me. He was crying when we said goodbye." Jongin's eyes had suddenly become very glassy.

 _He's crying._ Kyungsoo was stunned to realize. _He must really love kids._ He sighed and reached his hand out very tentatively to pat Jongin's shoulder.

Jongin looked up at him in surprise.

"Sorry," Kyungsoo said, quickly taking his hand off of Jongin.

Jongin blushed. "No, I was just...I was surprised. Hey, Kyungsoo?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you watch a movie with me?” Jongin asked softly.

Kyungsoo's face warmed. "Umm..."

"Please?" Jongin asked, his face lined with hope.

And so Kyungsoo found himself voluntarily plopping down on the couch for two hours with Jongin, who smiled like it was his birthday the entire time. Well, almost the entire time. He fell asleep halfway through the movie, his head plunking onto Kyungsoo's shoulder.

Kyungsoo dared to look at him then. Possibly the first good, long look at Jongin he'd ever taken. Longish silky brown hair falling into eyes that were beautiful even while closed, fine, high cheekbones, straight nose, and that mouth...His lips had parted as he slept and Kyungsoo found himself wondering if they felt as soft as they looked.

Kyungsoo’s phone alarm went off then, jerking him back to reality. "Oh God," he blurted. "What time is it?"

Jongin blinked his eyes and yawned as he watched Kyungsoo grasp for his phone in the dark. "It’s almost nine, why?"

"Shit."

"Why, are you going somewhere?"

Kyungsoo pulled off his uniform khakis and yanked on some skinny jeans. Then he pulled off his work polo and tugged a clingy black t-shirt over his head. He ran into the bathroom, threw some product in his hair and glossed his lips.

"Wow," Jongin said, looking slightly awed as Kyungsoo emerged. "Big date tonight or something?"

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. 

"That's right," he said drily. "I'm going to go hang out with another guy. And no, not just as friends. Gross, right? Still wanna share a room with me?"

"Wait, what?" Jongin’s face fell. "Who?"

“Hey guys!” Luhan was standing in their open doorway, smiling warmly. “Ready, Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo nodded, his cheeks heating.

Jongin’s eyes darted between the other two and a flash of realization flitted across his face. 

"So you’re going somewhere?” Jongin asked softly, looking at his shoes. “With him?”

Kyungsoo glanced at Jongin. His face was entirely devoid of its usual mischievousness. No smirk, no smile, the sparkle in his eyes traded for an empty dullness. It confused Kyungsoo.

“Well, yeah." Kyungsoo replied quietly. "Is it really that weird for you? Two guys?"

Jongin stared at the floor a long time before shaking his head. "No, just go have fun," he muttered. He looked so desolate that Kyungsoo didn't even want to leave him.

“Let’s go!” Luhan said, tugging Kyungsoo's arm excitedly. “We'll miss it!”

"Okay, bye then," Kyungsoo said hesitantly.

Jongin just nodded.

\--

Luhan took Kyungsoo to a quiet beach to watch the meteor shower. They found a spot on the sand and Luhan shook out a blanket for them to sit on.

"Do you think Jongin seemed upset just now?" Kyungsoo asked.

"Did he? I didn’t notice. Have you two become closer lately?” 

"Oh, definitely not!" Kyungsoo laughed a little too loudly. "It's just...he seemed sad earlier, talking about this kid he misses...anyway, sorry."

"No worries!” Luhan chimed. “Here, come snuggle up, it's windy."

Kyungsoo laughed nervously and scooted over. 

"That's better," Luhan sighed, putting an arm around Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo squirmed a bit. "So, how much longer until the meteor shower starts?" He asked, anxious, he realized, to get back and check on Jongin.

Here he was with Luhan, perfect, adorable Luhan, and all he could think of was that asshole Jongin.

"Just a few minutes," Luhan said calmly. "What should we do to pass the time?"

"Huh?"

Luhan leaned over and kissed Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo closed his eyes and prepared himself to be swept away. But when Luhan’s lips met his, Kyungsoo was appalled to realize he felt nothing. Not a spark, not a tingle, it was like kissing a younger sibling.

"Um, Luhan,” he said gently, pulling away. “I'm sorry, but I have to go."

“Really?”

“Yeah. My mind’s elsewhere and it’s not fair to you.”

Luhan smiled at him sadly. "Okay. I think I understand. Let's walk back."

\--

Kyungsoo trudged down the hallway with a heavy heart. _So, my date with a nice, good-looking gay guy was ruined by my latent crush on my straight, ex-bully roommate. How totally healthy of me._

He went to put his key in his door but he heard a feminine giggle from inside.

_What?_

“Aren't you wondering why I called?” Jongin’s voice was velvet-smooth.

“I know why you called, jerk-off. Only reason you ever call."

“Mm, that's why I like older girls. So much less complicated.”

“Are you stuck in a complicated situation, Jongin? Is that why you haven't called me yet this summer?"

Jongin laughed ruefully. "Oh, you have no idea."

The girl snorted. "So, we're being cryptic tonight. Okay, fine, whatever.” There was a rustling sound from within the room.

“No!" Jongin objected. "Leave your clothes on. Just- just suck me off,” his voice has a desperate edge. “Please. I need it.”

Kyungsoo jumped back from the door. Wow. He’d been so stupid to think someone like Jongin would ever be sad and alone. Disgusted with himself, Kyungsoo got as far away from that room as he could manage.

\--

He wandered the resort complex awhile, eventually coming upon a group of co-workers hanging out in front of a bonfire.

“Hey, Kyungsoo! What’s wrong?” A guy he recognized from maintenance yelled.

“Yeah, come hang out.” Someone else chimed in.

“We have beer!” The first guy added.

Kyungsoo stopped. He’d never had much use for alcohol before, but at the moment, drinking his troubles away sounded pretty awesome.

He sat gazing into the fire as the maintenance guys handed him beer after beer. It didn’t take Kyungsoo long to feel the effects of the cans he was downing. By his fifth, Kyungsoo was curled up in the sand, barely lucid.

“Little man had way too much,” he heard someone say.

“Damn it, we need to call someone. Who's his roommate?”

“It's Jongin.”

 _“Jongin?_ Shit. All right, just call him.”

The next thing he knew, Kyungsoo was being lifted onto someone’s back.

"I've got him," he heard someone say sharply. “You really couldn’t tell he was drinking too much? Look at him, he’s _tiny!_ Damn it! I’ll overlook it this time, but if anything would’ve happened to him…” Kyungsoo’s savior turned his head. “We’re going now, Kyungsoo. Hold on and don’t puke on me.” Kyungsoo nodded and wrapped his legs and arms around the lithe male form. 

Kyungsoo could think of only one guy who would come to his rescue like this, and that realization was completely mortifying, drunken stupor or no.

"Luhan?" Kyungsoo murmured.

"Yeah, sure," the boy said irritably.

"Um, did you get bigger?" Kyungsoo asked.

Luhan snorted.

Kyungsoo snuggled his face into Luhan's neck. “You're warm...and you smell nice.”

Luhan stifled a laugh.

“Uh, by the way…s-sorry about earlier,” Kyungsoo mumbled.

“Earlier?"

“You know, when I didn’t wanna make out,” Kyungsoo said miserably.

"Make out? He _kissed_ you?”

“Let’s stay good friends, okay?” Kyungsoo said sweetly, patting Luhan’s shoulder. “You're so nice. Not like Jongin." Kyungsoo frowned. "Jongin…that jerk...he makes me so mad!”

Another snort. “Does he really?”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo mumbled. “First, I couldn't get his stupid pretty face out of my head all night and then when I went home, he was in our room with a girl...”

Luhan abruptly stopped.

“You…heard them?”

Kyungsoo nodded.

"Shit. Wait—is that why you drank?”

Kyungsoo hesitated and then nodded again. “Jongin likes girls,” he sang miserably. “He likes girls and he hates me."

Kyungsoo sighed. Luhan was quiet for a while and Kyungsoo’s eyelids grew heavy.  Just before he surrendered to an alcohol-induced coma, Luhan spoke.

"He doesn't, though, Kyungsoo. He could never, ever hate you."

That night, he dreamed that Jongin sat with him as he fell asleep, holding his hand and stroking his hair and placing an impossibly light goodnight kiss on his forehead. 

\--

"Good morning!"

Early the next day, Jongin woke Kyungsoo with an elated grin. Kyungsoo had never seen him smile like that in the entire three years he'd known him.

"I want to take you somewhere today,” Jongin said excitedly.

Within fifteen minutes, Jongin had Kyungsoo dressed and headed to his car. Kyungsoo shuffled along behind him grumpily. 

"Why are we awake, again?" Kyungsoo whined. "I got in kind of late last night."

Jongin snickered. "Oh, did you?"

“Yeah!” Kyungsoo pouted. “Dunno what’s so funny..."

Jongin smiled. “Come on, here’s a water bottle and a granola bar. Let’s go.”

It took a forty-minute drive and a twenty-minute hike to reach Jongin’s secret destination, during both of which Jongin chatted nonstop about the local plants and wildlife. Kyungsoo was just beginning to consider sneaking away to radio for help when Jongin exclaimed, "We’re here!”

It turned out to be worth the journey. Crystal clear water fell over the roof of a cave, rushing into a pristine blue lagoon below. All around the lagoon were craggy cliffs and rock walls and clumps of tall, reedy pine trees.

“My dad used to take me here when I was a kid,” Jongin revealed. “This is my favorite place on Earth."

"It’s beautiful,” Kyungsoo admitted. “But why did you want to bring me?"

Jongin looked at his shoes and laughed. "I…uh… Anyway, look!” He jogged to Kyungsoo’s side, pointing. “This is the best part: it's a perpetual rainbow. No matter what the weather is, if you look at the waterfall from this angle, you see it. It kind of reminds me of you,” he beamed. “Like, no matter what you're going through, or how hard things get, you always reflect this beautiful light.”

Kyungsoo blushed fiercely. "Really?” Jongin being cute and bubbly and comparing him to a rainbow…unexpected. “Thanks, Jongin."

Jongin was dreamily dragging his fingers through the water. "Hmm? For what?"

"This place is awesome. Thanks for showing me."

Jongin broke into a breathtaking grin that made Kyungsoo feel a little faint. _Has he always been this beautiful?_

"Go stand in front of the waterfall," Jongin urged. "I'll take your picture!"

Kyungsoo awkwardly obeyed him, posing stiffly in front of the scenery.

Jongin laughed. "No, no, no, that's lame!" He ran over next to Kyungsoo and put his arm around the older boy's shoulders, leaning his head against Kyungsoo's.

“Say, ‘Sacred Heart blows!’” Jongin yelled just before snapping the picture. Kyungsoo cackled.

Jongin looked at it and smiled. He showed Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo’s heart fluttered. In the picture, Kyungsoo was laughing at Jongin while Jongin grinned into the camera, the tip of his tongue peeking from between his teeth.

It was really cute. And they actually looked really good together. Kyungsoo was surprised by how happy he looked with Jongin.

\--

Late that night, Kyungsoo lay awake in bed, wondering what was taking Jongin so long to come upstairs. He checked the time. _12:30?_ He slipped on his flip-flops and crept downstairs.

On the main floor, he noticed a light coming from the kitchen. To his surprise, Jongin was in there with Luhan. He decided to join them, but stopped when he realized Jongin's voice was thick with tears.

"He's kind and beautiful and when he smiles it feels like there are a million butterflies in my chest,” Jongin sniffled. “It's like I want to be beside him every minute of every day."

_He? Who the hell is he talking about?_

"Actually, the truth is...I fell for him a long time ago.” Jongin’s voice was shaky. “He’s brave and honest and unwilling to hide his light from the world and I’m none of those things. I'm just a jerk and a loser who hurt him. He hates me and I don't even blame him. I hate me too."

Jongin blew his nose. "Fuck, it's late,” he said. "Sorry. Thanks for listening.”

"I think..." Luhan paused. "I think you should tell him. Give him some credit. If he's the guy you think he is, he might listen."

Jongin laughed hollowly. "No, he can never find out. He'd be on a plane back to L.A. so fast my head would spin. Anyway, ‘night Luhan."

_What...?_

Jongin ran into Kyungsoo on the stairs. His eyes widened in alarm. He hesitated a second and then ran past Kyungsoo, up the stairs and into their room. Kyungsoo followed, but by the time he got to the room, Jongin had shut himself up in the bathroom.

"Jongin,” he tried. Silence. "Jongin, I didn’t know." He knocked softly. "Hey..."

Jongin slowly opened the door and Kyungsoo saw that his eyes were red and puffy.

"Stop, okay? Please stop. Please just pretend you didn’t hear."

"At least tell me why, Jongin,” Kyungsoo insisted. “Why you made my life a living hell."

"What do you want me to say?” Jongin asked with a bitter laugh. “I was an immature, self-hating gay kid who decided to torment the person I liked. Still like.” He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. 

"That's pretty hard to believe, Jongin," Kyungsoo stammered. "If you liked me, then why-"

"Because I was a little bitch." Jongin admitted, tears now streaming freely. "If I came out, I'd lose everything. I knew you'd reject me anyway and then I'd be left with nothing. No friends, no sports, I wouldn't even be welcome in the locker room. So I picked on you. Because at least then..." Jongin's wet eyes met his. "You were looking at me."

"I don't believe you,” Kyungsoo huffed. “What about all those girls in high school? And that girl last night?"

"No, nothing happened with that girl last night. I don't—I don’t like girls as much..." Jongin turned pink. "As much as I like you. It’s hard to explain.”

Kyungsoo's eyes widened. "Then, you're actually serious…"

"Yes.”

"Um..."

"Just forget it,” Jongin begged. “This wasn't a confession. Please don’t give me an answer."

Jongin stripped off his shirt and lay on his bed with his arm over his eyes. Kyungsoo tried to ignore Jongin's abs, turning away as he felt his cheeks heat up.

"Ah, well, listen...I don't hate you. I used to. At the beginning of the summer, yeah, but now...I don't." Kyungsoo cleared his throat. "It's like, one a.m., so I'm gonna turn off the light. We can talk more later.”

Jongin just nodded.

\--

The next day was painfully awkward. Kyungsoo went to great lengths to avoid being alone with Jongin and Jongin returned the favor. After his shift ended at 7, Kyungsoo came back to discover a little note in neat script on his pillow.

Meet me at the dock at 10?

-Jongin

\--

Jongin was already there when he arrived, sitting cross-legged and gazing out at the water. The moon and stars provided just enough illumination for Kyungsoo to make out Jongin’s broad form and brilliant smile.

“Hey,” Jongin said softly. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

Kyungsoo smiled and sat beside him. “Of course I came.”

Jongin laughed shyly.

“The sky is really beautiful tonight,” Kyungsoo sighed. “It looks so pretty reflected in the water.”

“Yeah…feels nice too,” Jongin remarked. “With the breeze…”

There was an awkward silence and then Jongin took a deep breath.

“Well, um, the other night,” he began nervously, “when you overheard me talking to Luhan…that wasn’t the same as me saying those things to you. So,” he began, facing Kyungsoo. “I wanted a chance to tell you how I feel.” Jongin took another deep breath as Kyungsoo’s heart started racing.

“I’ve liked you for a long time, Kyungsoo. You’re sweet but tough as hell and you are always honest and unapologetic about who you are. I was a fucking asshole to you for so long and I know I don’t deserve a shot with you, but I really, really want one.”

Kyungsoo stared at the wooden planks below them trying to fight off the goofy smile spreading across his face. Jongin had gone to such lengths just to have the chance to get close to him. This job, the room, patiently taking all the shit Kyungsoo had dished out over the summer…Maybe he didn't deserve a chance with Kyungsoo, but Kyungsoo was going to give him one anyway.

“This was pretty unexpected,” Kyungsoo commented. “But also kind of nice.”

“Really?” Jongin squeaked. Kyungsoo looked up. Jongin’s pretty face bloomed with hope. Kyungsoo laughed softly.

“Yeah. You’re not the person I thought you were,” Kyungsoo confessed. “You’re patient and sweet and good with kids… you’re actually pretty cool, Jongin.”

“Does that mean you kind of…like me too?”

Kyungsoo smiled and swept a strand of hair out of Jongin’s eyes. "Yeah. I guess I kind of do."

Jongin beamed at Kyungsoo. "Wow...okay, wow." He smiled up at the stars. "I really never thought you'd ever..."

Kyungsoo laughed softly. “Yeah, me either.”

Jongin grinned at him, his gaze slowly softening. "You're so damn cute," Jongin whispered. He slowly reached for Kyungsoo's hand, holding it in both of his. "I can’t believe it," Jongin said, looking at the stars. "Three years."

"Huh?"

Jongin blushed. "That's how long I've had a crush on you." Jongin brought Kyungsoo's hand to his lips. "And now I actually got to confess to you."

He slowly leaned in and kissed Kyungsoo once, very softly on the lips then pulled back, looking for permission to continue. 

Kyungsoo smiled. He softly kissed Jongin back. Jongin sighed and pressed soft, chaste kisses on Kyungsoo’s mouth, then made the older boy giggle by softly biting his lower lip. Jongin kissed him softly and lushly, pressing his open mouth to Kyungsoo’s as Kyungsoo slid his hands into Jongin's hair.

Making out with Jongin was so good. Kyungsoo was happy to let him control things: the slide of their tongues, the angle of his face, the way their mouths fit together. He let Jongin sweep him away, pausing every now and then to take a gasping breath.

It was so good…too good, and Kyungsoo broke away, gaze locked on Jongin’s. 

 _Time to stop before things get out of control._ Kyungsoo thought. He kissed Jongin once more and stood up. He held a hand out to Jongin, who pouted and tried to pull Kyungsoo back down. Kyungsoo shook his head, smiling widely, and Jongin begrudgingly obeyed. As soon as Jongin got to his feet, he pulled Kyungsoo into his arms, burying his face between the boy’s neck and shoulder.

"We should go back," Kyungsoo whispered.

"Fine," Jongin murmured, "But I'm not letting go of you." He clasped Kyungsoo's hand in his and smiled.

"You sure?" Kyungsoo asked, surprised that Jongin would want to let the employees see.

"Yeah!" Jongin said. "We're together now, right?"

Kyungsoo nodded. "Yeah."

"Well come on, then," Jongin said, beaming. "Let's go home."  

As they walked back to the hotel, they held hands the entire time. Jongin squeezed Kyungsoo's hand every few seconds, as if to reassure himself it was all real. When they got back, Kyungsoo went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and came out to discover Jongin stretched across his bed, a seductive sleepy grin in place.

“Come here,” Jongin said, patting the spot next to him. “Lay down with me."

Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow and Jongin laughed. "I won't pressure you into anything, just come let me hold you."

Kyungsoo curled his body against Jongin’s, hooking one leg over the younger boy’s and sliding an arm over his chest. Jongin wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo and cradled the older boy’s head against his chest.

“Mmm,” Jongin sighed happily. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” He stroked his fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair and buried his face in it. “Look. We fit together so perfectly. Like we belong together.”

Kyungsoo laughed softly and snuggled into Jongin’s arms and the two of them quickly fell asleep.

\--

"So you told him?" Luhan exclaimed.

Jongin and Kyungsoo ran into him the following day while walking hand-in-hand on the beach.

"Yeah." Jongin said gruffly, wrapping a possessive arm around Kyungsoo's waist. "We're together now."

Luhan smiled. "Aw, man. You were supposed to be my summer fling, kid,” he lamented, and Kyungsoo felt his cheeks flush. “Well, congratulations," he said, reaching out to ruffle Kyungsoo's hair.

Jongin stepped between the two.

"Thanks. We appreciate that." He turned to Kyungsoo. "Come on, I'll buy you ice cream." Kyungsoo smiled and allowed Jongin to lead him away. Kyungsoo waved at Luhan behind Jongin's back and Luhan winked.

\--

“So where are you going to school?” Jongin asked as the boys cuddled on the sofa.

“USC,” Kyungsoo replied proudly. “I got into their Vocal Arts program. It’s really competitive and the program has tons of connections in the industry. How about you?”

Jongin grimaced. “Columbia. Because I’m a legacy. And business school. Because I’m the only child of investors.”

“Oh.” Kyungsoo felt as if the happy little bubble that had surrounded them the past few days had suddenly popped. “Wow. Can’t get much further apart than New York and L.A.," he said dejectedly.

“Hey,” Jongin said, pressing a kiss to Kyungsoo’s jaw. “We still have lots of time together. Don’t think about that right now, okay?”

Kyungsoo nodded despite his lingering gloom.

“So, Vocal Arts, huh?” Jongin grinned. “I think you should sing me to sleep tonight.”

Kyungsoo laughed. “You’ve never even heard me sing. What if I suck?”

Jongin smiled and pressed his lips to the top of Kyungsoo's head.

"I've heard you sing." he murmured. "You sure as hell don't suck."

"What?” Kyungsoo looked at him in surprise. “When?"

Jongin looked thoughtful. "Mm, whenever I could. Every school choir concert and musical, twice in concert at the arts center, and," Jongin smiled sheepishly, "man, at least four times when you did Les Mis at the Pantages. Is that weird?”

Kyungsoo craned his neck to kiss Jongin. “Yeah,” he said, his eyes getting misty. “Weirdo.”

Jongin laughed and tugged playfully on Kyungsoo’s hair, pulling back and pressing open-mouthed kisses on his lips until Kyungsoo kissed him back.

“I love kissing you,” Jongin whispered against Kyungsoo’s lips. “It's so different, kissing you.”

Kyungsoo frowned. "Because I'm a guy?"

Jongin laughed softly. "No, because you mean something to me."

His mouth found Kyungsoo’s again, his kisses getting softer and deeper. Kyungsoo kissed back, his hand slipping into Jongin’s hair. Eventually, he got fed up with the awkward angle and climbed in Jongin’s lap.

Jongin looked up at him with knitted brows, gently caressing his face with his knuckles. Kyungsoo leaned in to kiss him and when their bodies touched, Jongin quietly gasped. Kyungsoo did it again, and was rewarded with a little moan.

“Goddamn,” he groaned when Kyungsoo kept rubbing against him. “That’s it, baby. Grind me.”

Jongin pulled off his t-shirt, then Kyungsoo’s, and both boys shimmied out of their jeans. Jongin yanked Kyungsoo back into his lap and kissed him.

"These little fucking briefs you wear…fuck!" Jongin growled, squeezing Kyungsoo's ass. 

Kyungsoo groaned, cock leaking at Jongin’s filthy words.

"Help me take 'em off," Kyungsoo said urgently as he rolled onto his back.

Jongin looked half-crazed. “Goddamn it, come here.” He pulled Kyungsoo’s briefs off desperately, reaching to touch the boy's cock as soon as he could. 

“Yeah...” Kyungsoo moaned as Jongin stroked him, his fingernails digging into Jongin’s arms.

“Yeah? Feel good?” Jongin asked.

“Ungh, yes."

Jongin smiled at Kyungsoo, eyes like melted chocolate. “Can I give you head, Soo?” he breathed

Kyungsoo stopped writhing against Jongin, a furious blush heating his cheeks. "I, uh...I don't know..."

Jongin looked into his eyes curiously. “No? Are you nervous?"

Kyungsoo’s mouth ran dry as he nodded.

"Because it’s your first time?”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo admitted in a whisper.

“Don't be nervous," Jongin murmured, pressing his lips to Kyungsoo's forehead. "You trust me?"

Kyungsoo nodded.

"Okay then, wanna try? If you’re uncomfortable, I'll stop."

"Yeah, okay," Kyungsoo said softly. 

Jongin grinned. He took Kyungsoo’s cock in his hand and Kyungsoo exhaled sharply. Then he sheathed his teeth and sucked as deep as he could. He bobbed his head a few times, then slid back up to tongue the head and slit. Kyungsoo was a moaning, writhing mess. God, it felt amazing. Jongin’s soft wet mouth on his cock, licking and sucking him…it was too fucking good. Then his legs started shaking and Jongin pulled off to coo, “gonna come for me, babe?”

Pleasure pooled hot and heavy in Kyungsoo's groin until it was suddenly too much. He only had time to groan Jongin's name before he was coming in the back of the boy's throat. Jongin gagged a bit then recovered himself and laughed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He pulled Kyungsoo into his arms.

"What happened?" He asked teasingly.

Kyungsoo buried his face in Jongin's shoulder. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Don't be sorry. Shit, I’m proud.” He murmured. "I made my boyfriend come in like, five minutes."

Kyungsoo laughed. _Cocky shit._ "Yeah, it was good, okay? Want me to...?"

"Well actually,” Jongin said, his eyes darkening. “I had something else in mind..."

"Like what?" Kyungsoo asked curiously.

Jongin hovered over him looking unsure. "Ah, nothing," he murmured. He pulled Kyungsoo back into his lap and wrapped his arms around the boy. "Are you...by any chance...? Have you never..."

Kyungsoo caught on. "Oh...yeah," he whispered, hiding his warm face in the crook of Jongin's neck. "I'm a virgin."

"Wow," Jongin whispered, lifting Kyungsoo's chin so their eyes would meet. "Fuck, that’s hot.” He dropped his gaze. “I hope I'll be your first someday." He asked, his voice soft and hopeful.

Kyungsoo smiled. "Yeah," he whispered. "Um, but for now," his eyes trailed down Jongin's body. "I wanna jerk you off."

Jongin's eyes widened. He sucked in a breath as Kyungsoo ran a hand over Jongin's tight torso and down. Jongin's eyes never left his hand as it pumped and stroked him, his breathing growing stuttery.

Jongin looked so beautiful with his eyes closed and his lips in a soft pout. Suddenly he was gripping Kyungsoo's shoulder. “W-wait…slower!” Jongin begged, but Kyungsoo could feel the urgency with which Jongin had begun thrusting into his hand. When he came, furiously fucking Kyungsoo's fist and groaning too loudly, it was in half the time it had taken Kyungsoo.

"Oh," he said, looking up at Jongin's face with wide eyes. "That was kinda fast..."

"Shut it!" Jongin laughed, rolling over on top of Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo smiled up at him. Jongin looked so content. He stared down at Kyungsoo and brushed the hair off his forehead.

"I did it on purpose," he claimed. "So you wouldn't be embarrassed."

"Yeah right!" Kyungsoo shouted, tickling him furiously and pushing him on his back. Jongin reached out to touch Kyungsoo's face and Kyungsoo grabbed his hand and held it there.

"Kyungsoo?"

"Yeah?"

"I uh, really, _really_ like you."

Kyungsoo smiled. "I know."

\--

The rest of the summer found Jongin and Kyungsoo in each other's arms as often as possible. They'd hurry to finish things up at the end of the workday, inhale their dinner, and then race each other to the bedroom, locking the door behind them. They'd strip each other down, jump in bed, and stay there, exploring every inch of each other, getting each other off until they passed out from exhaustion.

\--

Their parting came much too soon. 

On August 15th, Jongin and Kyungsoo sat on a bench at Reno International Airport together, one with a ticket to New York City, the other with a ticket to LAX.

"Why did we do this?” Kyungsoo asked quietly. “When it hurts so much now?"

Jongin scooted close to Kyungsoo and put an arm around his waist. Kyungsoo rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

"Look," Jongin said, dashing away tears. "I got something a few days ago when I was in town.” Jongin reached into his jacket and retrieved a small white velvet box. Inside were two silver rings, one big, one small.

“So, the thing is, I don’t want to break up,” Jongin said nervously. “I want to try and make it work with calling and texting and Skype or whatever. I can save the money my parents give me to blow on stupid shit to come and visit you instead. So what do you think? Can we try?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes shined with new tears and he kissed Jongin. “Yeah, let’s try.” Jongin grinned and kissed him back. He pressed his forehead to Kyungsoo’s.

“Kyungsoo, I love you,” he whispered.

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. He held out his hand and Jongin slid the small ring on his left ring finger. Kyungsoo slid the big one on Jongin’s.

Kyungsoo threw his arms around Jongin. “I love you too.” He kissed Jongin long and hard.

A stewardess came on the loudspeaker then to announce that Kyungsoo’s flight was boarding. Their time was up.

“Ready to go?” Jongin asked.

“Until we meet again,” Kyungsoo answered.

\--

_Four Months Later_

\--

Kyungsoo looked out at the gloomy December day and frowned. He sighed and adjusted the straps of his cheerful red apron and then went back to work taking inventory of the plants. His gig at the florist’s shop didn’t pay all that well, but the hours were good and the owner permitted him to do his homework when things were slow.

He moped over to the chalkboard at the front door of the shop and wrote, “I miss Jongin," right in the middle.

He sighed and moved a pallet of flowers into the back greenhouse. As he came back through the front, he glanced at the chalkboard. He was alarmed to realize his message had been rubbed out. The chalkboard now read, “I miss Kyungsoo."

 _What in the hell…?_  “Hello?” Kyungsoo called cautiously. “Someone there?”

“Just me."

Kyungsoo spun around. It was Jongin, grinning from ear to ear.

“Jongin!” Kyungsoo yelped, jumping into his arms. “What are you doing here?!”

Jongin laughed. “I’m here to see you!”

Kyungsoo smacked his shoulder. “You know what I mean. You said you couldn’t come home for Christmas!”

Jongin shrugged. “I lied.” He cackled when Kyungsoo smacked him again.

Kyungsoo hugged him tight and gazed into his eyes. “I can’t believe you’re really here,” Kyungsoo whispered, his eyes getting moist. 

Jongin slid his hands over Kyungsoo’s back. “Me either,” he smiled. He captured Kyungsoo’s mouth with his, kissing him with all his heart.

“Mm,” Kyungsoo felt brainlessly happy. “I really missed that. Um, let me get this place closed for the day and we’ll get out of here.”

\--

They went to a quiet coffee shop with dim lighting and cushy well-worn chairs. They smiled across the table at each other as they sipped their lattes.

“I missed you so much,” Jongin murmured.

“I know you did,” Kyungsoo giggled. “I have the seven million texts to prove it.”

“Oh, hey now!” Jongin objected. “You texted me at least six million!”

“Well, I missed you too,” Kyungsoo admitted with a wistful smile. “So much.”

“Um, about that,” Jongin said, reaching out to take Kyungsoo’s hands. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Jongin?” They heard someone grunt. Kyungsoo looked up and the bottom dropped out from under him. Garrett Miller was making his way over to their table. If Jongin had been the head bully at Sacred Heart, Garrett had been his number two. The difference was Garrett wasn’t above getting in a punch or two while he was at it.

“What the fuck, Kim?” He asked disgustedly. “You hanging out with faggots now?”

Jongin’s expression went from annoyed to frighteningly livid in the time it took Garrett to cross the room. He shot out of his chair.

“You got a problem, Miller?”

“I always got a problem with cocksuckers,” Garrett sneered. 

“Then, I guess you got a problem with me, bitch,” Jongin hissed.

“What?” Garrett looked a little sick. “You fucking serious? You turn fucking gay at college or something?!”

“No, bro,” he laughed. “I was always gay. All those times we showered together, all the times you crashed at my place after games...always. No worries, though. Never thought about fucking you once. I have standards.” 

Jongin threw a few dollars on the table, held his hand out to Kyungsoo, and they left, Jongin bumping hard against Garrett as he passed.

\--

As Jongin angrily stomped out of the café, Kyungsoo seized his arm.

“Hey, stop!"

Jongin whirled around, eyes ablaze.

"Thank you," Kyungsoo said softly, "for standing up to that guy. That was really cool."

"Baby, no,” Jongin grimaced. “That wasn't cool. That was a reminder of what a piece of shit I used to be."

“Maybe for you, but Jongin, for me that was fucking awesome.” Kyungsoo said gently. “You know, I forgave you a long time ago for what happened in high school. You should really forgive yourself.”

Jongin sighed. He reached for Kyungsoo and hugged him tight, resting his forehead on the other boy's small shoulders. “I need you so badly. Just to stay sane.”

Kyungsoo held him until his anger subsided and he was smiling again. “Feel better?” He asked. Jongin nodded. “So what were you about to tell me in there?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Oh, that…” Jongin smiled sheepishly. “Well, last semester was really, really hard. Academically, Columbia just kicked my ass. And the weather there sucks. And, well, the truth is, I fucking missed you. I don’t want to just text and face-time, I want to hold you. Every day. So…” Jongin drew in a deep breath, “I transferred to UCLA.”

Kyungsoo's mouth fell open.

Jongin panicked. "D-don't freak out. I know I should've discussed it with you, but I just got excited and—"

Kyungsoo laughed threw his arms around Jongin. When he pulled back, his eyes were shining. “What are you talking about? I’m so fucking happy.”

“You are?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” Kyungsoo asked in confusion.

“I don’t know. Maybe you were secretly planning to break up with me or something.”

“What?!" Kyungsoo exclaimed. "What are you saying, you jerk?!"

Jongin gave him a self-conscious grin and shrugged.

"Stupid. Anyway," Kyungsoo continued nonchalantly. "Aren’t you at all interested in seeing my new place?”

Jongin grinned and hugged him. “Yes. I am emphatically interested in seeing your new place.”

“Then let’s go."

\--

They burst into Kyungsoo's apartment, mouths pressed together, groping each other and tearing at each other's clothes.

Jongin walked Kyungsoo backwards, pushing him onto the bed and framing his small hips with his knees.

"Jongin," Kyungsoo moaned. "I wanna..." he swallowed hard. “God, please fuck me.”

Jongin's eyes darkened. "You sure?"

Kyungsoo nodded, whimpering.

"But you're first guy I’ve ever been with," Jongin whispered. "What if I fuck up and hurt you or something?”

Kyungsoo smiled and pressed his forehead to Jongin’s.

“I trust you,” he whispered. “I’ll tell you if you hurt me.”

Jongin looked a little more at ease. "Yeah, okay. I trust you too, you know?"

Kyungsoo grinned and pulled Jongin's face down to kiss him. "Make me yours."

Jongin groaned and settled in between his boyfriend's legs.

"So, how does this go?" Jongin asked with a nervous smile.

Kyungsoo looked away.

"Well, I, um, need to prep first… I've been trying it on my own.” He was mortified now. “Wanna see?"

“Yeah.” Jongin said softly, his voice low. "Hell yes."

Kyungsoo curled onto his side. With one hand pulling on the end of his slowly hardening cock, he reached down with the other, inserting a finger into his snug little hole.

“Oh God, Kyungsoo," Jongin groaned. "You look so fucking hot."

Kyungsoo gazed up at Jongin, lips parted in arousal, and worked in a second, then a third. Jongin stared as the smaller boy fucked himself on his fingers, his body loosening and opening for Jongin.

"I'm ready now," Kyungsoo gasped.

"What about lube?”

"Nightstand.”

Jongin retrieved the little bottle, squirted the liquid out, and smoothed it over his cock.

"Okay, ready?” He breathed, mind reeling.

Kyungsoo nodded. Jongin ran his fingers smoothly over the soft skin of Kyungsoo's ass and positioned him on his hands and knees. He held his cock against Kyungsoo's tight entrance and held his breath as he worked in just the tip.

"Oh shit!” Kyungsoo cried. “Ah, wait a sec, it hurts!”

"Fuck, sorry." Jongin panted. "You're so fucking tight. Should I stop?"

"No! Don't stop," Kyungsoo insisted. "Just give me a second."

Jongin kissed the nape of Kyungsoo's neck and skimmed his hand down his smooth chest and abs. He circled his hand around Kyungsoo's cock and started stroking.

Kyungsoo moaned. "More," he grunted.

"You sure?" Jongin asked.

"Yeah..."

Jongin slid in a little further, stroking Kyungsoo faster, squeezing his cock a little tighter. Kyungsoo started fucking his fist outright.

"Okay." Kyungsoo groaned. "I'm ready. I want it. All of it."

Jongin slid in with a broken groan. "Oh fuck, it's tight! Shit. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kyungsoo whimpered. "Does it feel good?"

Jongin's laughter came out in a huff. "Yeah. Fucking amazing."

"Okay, you can move now,” Kyungsoo said.

Jongin pulled out a little and back in and then paused again, his breathing getting heavy. He held Kyungsoo tightly, burying his face against the older boy's neck, scraping his teeth against the boy's porcelain skin. Jongin gradually picked up the pace, his moans getting more ragged with every snap of his hips. Kyungsoo was in ecstasy, grinding his ass right up against Jongin's hips, brokenly moaning his name.

"Kyungsoo, that's..." Jongin warned desperately. "Baby, you gotta stop or..."

"Jesus fuck, it feels good! Don't you dare fucking stop! Come in me, Jongin,” Kyungsoo begged.

"Oh God, Kyungsoo!" Jongin slammed into him two more times, then smashed a pillow in his face to muffle the groans his orgasm ripped from his throat.

He immediately went to work stroking Kyungsoo fast and tight, the older boy fucking into his hand furiously.

"Jongin...oh fuck. Baby, I'm gonna fucking come." Kyungsoo opened his mouth in a silent scream as he shot his release onto Jongin's toned stomach.

They lay together a while, waiting for their heartbeats to slow, then Kyungsoo started to wiggle out from under Jongin.

"Wait!" Jongin cried. "Not yet, okay?"

Kyungsoo smiled and turned over so they were face to face.

"Don't you want a towel? You're all messy."

Jongin gazed into Kyungsoo’s eyes for a long moment and then smiled.

"I don't deserve this, or you,” he whispered. “I'm so fucking lucky."

"As long as you remember that," Kyungsoo deadpanned.

Jongin laughed. "Always, I promise." His face grew serious. "I love you, Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo’s face softened. "I love you, too."

Jongin's eyebrows shot up and his face turned a warm shade of pink. "Really?" He asked with a touch of vulnerability.

Kyungsoo laughed. "Yeah, pretty sure," he answered, kissing the tip of Jongin's nose. "So anyway, when you moving in?"


	2. Jongin's Story

Sacred Heart Academy's biggest player was at it again. Jongin Kim had sweet talked prom princess Kylie Smith into the empty locker room and pressed her up against the wall. Jongin’s smooth sun kissed skin, shiny black hair, and long lashed dark eyes meant he was rarely turned down and indeed; Kylie was staring up at him, spellbound.

"Hey," Jongin said softly, flashing a cocky smile.

“Hi,” she whispered.

“You look really pretty today,” he murmured, gently running his knuckles down the side of her face.

Predictably, the girl melted. Jongin smirked. _This is too easy._  He leaned into her and kissed her softly. When her eyes fluttered closed, Jongin knew the deal was sealed. If he got her hot enough now, he'd be in her panties later. Jongin was in the middle of sucking her face off when it all went awry.

The locker room door swung open and Jongin froze as perfect, sweet-faced Kyungsoo Do stepped inside.

Jongin broke the kiss. Seeing Kyungsoo had its usual effect: Jongin’s heart began to pound and he couldn’t look away. When Kyungsoo turned his beautiful wide brown eyes on Jongin, his expression changed from calm to icy in an instant. He glanced from Jongin to Kylie with his lip curled in disgust.

Shame washed over Jongin.

"What are you looking at, faggot?" He yelled, pushing away from the girl.

"Nothing." Kyungsoo replied with a cold smile, his tone clearly indicating that “nothing” meant Jongin.

He turned to leave and Jongin lunged at him, yanking him backwards by his backpack and spinning him around.

Jongin hesitated when Kyungsoo's eyes, clear and unafraid, met his. He wished he were capable of teaching the kid a lesson, but no matter how infuriating Kyungsoo got, Jongin could never bring himself to hurt him.

“Are you done?” Kyungsoo asked coldly. He yanked his backpack out of Jongin’s hands and stalked out.

Jongin watched him go with clenched fists.

He thought about following Kyungsoo out, tackling him from behind, taking his backpack, and emptying it out in the busy hallway. Would he get all cute and vulnerable? Would he cry?  

"Um, Jongin?"

Jongin turned to see Kylie still leaning against the locker.

Shit.

"Sorry—I gotta go," Jongin said, not bothering to conceal his ruined mood. "See you around, okay?"

He left before she could demand an explanation.

\--

Jongin went straight home and directly into his room, flopping face first on his bed.

Fucking Kyungsoo Do. The kid had moved into Jongin’s head on the first day of tenth grade and never left.

He’d slid into the chair next to Jongin's in AP English, all little and nerdy, and Jongin's world had been turned on its ear. By the time the class studied English Romanticism, and Jongin heard Kyungsoo reading Keats and Coleridge in his deep, melodic voice, the jock was smitten.

By junior year, Jongin was sneaking into Kyungsoo’s choir concerts and musicals just to hear his sweet voice and see the soft, sexy expression he always had while singing. 

Jongin had suspected since middle school that he might be gay, but this thing with Kyungsoo felt dangerous. He saw how Kyungsoo was picked on for trusting the kids at Sacred Heart with his secret and there was no way Jongin was going to make the same mistake. He had his sports, his friends, and his rep to think of. He lived in fear of being discovered. His life would be over. And it wasn’t like Kyungsoo would ever date him anyway. 

So rather than dealing with the truth, he tormented Kyungsoo, taking sadistic pleasure in punishing the boy for being so fearless. And the meaner Jongin was to Kyungsoo, the more attention the boy paid to him. Kyungsoo now knew Jongin's name, which sports he played, and how much he loved girls. Not boys, girls. But Jongin just couldn't do it anymore. He detested the hateful looks Kyungsoo sent his way. He started to imagine how good it would feel if Kyungsoo looked into his eyes and actually smiled.

Jongin rolled onto his side and checked the time. It was getting late. If he wanted to go out, now was the time to call his buddies. But fuck those guys, really. They talked so much shit about queers when all the while there was one in their inner circle. No, right now, Jongin just wished he was with Kyungsoo.

Jongin closed his eyes. What would it be like if Kyungsoo were his? Jongin would take Kyungsoo somewhere nice for dinner and when it was time to go home, Kyungsoo might look up at him all innocent and shy and ask Jongin to kiss him. And Jongin would. Softly at first and then deeper, licking into his mouth. And then maybe Jongin would drive him to his house and take him to his bedroom. He'd lay Kyungsoo on the bed and he'd whimper and ask what Jongin was going to do to him. Jongin would whisper in his ear that he wanted to make him feel good, then let his hands roam Kyungsoo's body, touching him until he was writhing against Jongin.

Jongin punched his pillow in frustration.

He had to stop. After today, he was done tormenting the person he liked. He'd be good to Kyungsoo, respect him, and then maybe someday, they could even be friends.

\--

Two months passed in which Jongin didn’t bully Kyungsoo at all. He couldn’t help staring at him, though, no matter how hard Kyungsoo glared when he caught him.

In mid-April, Jongin heard Kyungsoo's name on the morning announcements. He’d been selected to play Marius Pontmercy in a short run L.A. production of Les Misérables. There was a big roar of congratulations for Kyungsoo. He was suddenly the school’s VIP and Jongin was quietly elated for him.

Jongin figured out that the production would run from early to late May and that Kyungsoo would do eight shows total. Tickets weren't cheap: Jongin calculated how much it would cost to go to all the shows and it was more than he had. He sighed. He could maybe afford half of them if he sold something. He eyed the laptop his parents had given him to make up for forgetting his seventeenth birthday and smirked. It’s not like they’d notice anyway. He drove to the pawnshop during lunch period and cashed it in.

Jongin grinned as he fanned out the money in his hand. He'd see Kyungsoo at least four times.

As Jongin walked through the campus on the way back to class, he heard someone say his name. He turned toward the voice and was startled to realize it was Kyungsoo, talking with his friend Gia as they ate lunch on the library staircase.

Jongin snuck closer to listen.

“I mean, okay, Jongin’s a dickhead,” Gia said. “But you have to admit he’s the hottest guy at this shitty school.”

“No, I don’t.” Kyungsoo snorted.

“C’mon!" The girl protested. “I’m just saying, looks-wise…”

“No,” Kyungsoo said hotly. “Have you seen the way he treats people? No amount of hotness can make up for that. He's just...bad, Gia, you know? He's trash.”

 _Trash._ Jongin's throat tightened.  _He really fucking hates me._ He wandered out to the soccer field and sat on the bleachers, staring at the money in his hands.

_Should I still go? What if he finds out and gets upset?_

Jongin sat listening to the wind rustling the leaves of the tree above him. He closed his eyes.

No, he couldn't miss this. He'd just be very careful. And anyway, it didn’t matter that Kyungsoo still hated him. It's not like he'd planned to tell Kyungsoo he was going anyway. As long as Jongin got to hear him sing, it was worth the risk.

In the end, Jongin went to see Kyungsoo in Les Mis four times. Kyungsoo was unbelievably good. This wasn’t the kid he used to bully. This was a charismatic performer belting out songs for all of Hollywood. He looked so happy when he took his bow at the end and Jongin’s heart swelled as he clapped his hands raw.

\--

When the last week of senior year began, Jongin started to panic. He still hadn't made any progress with Kyungsoo and graduation was in a few days. Then there'd be summer in Lake Tahoe, and then he'd leave for New York and probably never see Kyungsoo again.

 _No, I can't let that happen_ , Jongin thought as he meandered through the school hallway. He had to do something. As he passed by the counselor’s office, Jongin did a double take. He saw Kyungsoo talking to a counselor inside. He looked really unhappy and Jongin wanted to know why. Jongin stole inside, sitting in the waiting room as he listened through the open door.

“Do you know of any job?" Kyungsoo asked desperately. “Anything. Just to get me through the summer?”

The guidance counselor shook his head. “I’m sorry you’re in this situation, Kyungsoo, I really am. Your parents kicking you out like this…Do you at least have another place to stay?”

Shame stole fleetingly across Kyungsoo’s face.

“Yeah,” he said quickly. “Of course. Well, thanks anyway, Mr. Santos.”

\--

The door opened and Jongin almost tripped over the chair trying to hide as Kyungsoo came out. He watched as Kyungsoo walked out the front door with slumped shoulders.

So he just needed a job and housing? Jongin had to restrain himself from pumping his fist in the air.

Jongin’s parents owned a resort in Lake Tahoe. Working there was always fun and the pay was good. Best of all, the resort provided room and board. All the rooms for that summer were already assigned, save Jongin's, which had an extra bed. All Jongin had to do was give the other bed to Kyungsoo and get him hired.

He glanced into Mr. Santos's office. It looked like the guy was just filing things. Jongin knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Mr. Santos called.

Jongin opened the door slowly and peeked inside.

Mr. Santos smiled, waving him in. “Jongin! What brings you here?”

Jongin smiled back. Mr. Santos was a major fan of the school’s soccer team and Jongin was the varsity team’s captain. Jongin might just pull this off.

“Hi, Mr. Santos. Well, I kind of overheard your conversation with Kyungsoo,” Jongin said with concern. “Is he having having problems?”

Mr. Santos frowned. “You know I can’t discuss another student with you, Jongin.”

“Oh, I know. I just…I think I can help. I have a summer job and a room for him. I can just give you the info, and maybe you can give it to him?” Jongin asked hopefully. “He doesn’t have to know it was me.”

Mr. Santos regarded him suspiciously. “What’s the job?”

“Summer work at my family’s place in Tahoe.”

Mr. Santos smiled. “Really? Would he be able to stay on for the whole summer?”

“Yes,” Jongin said, barely containing his glee, “but you kinda can’t tell him it was me. He won’t go if you do. He thinks I’m a jerk.”

Mr. Santos smiled kindly. “But that’s not true, Jongin.”

“What’s not true?”

“You’re not a jerk,” he said gently. "You're a good kid."

Jongin blushed and shrugged.

“So, yes," the counselor continued. "I will tell Kyungsoo about this opportunity. I’ll leave your name out of it, all right? Sound good?

Jongin beamed and nodded. “Thanks, Mr. Santos, I owe you.”

\--

Jongin had an excruciating weeklong wait before he found out whether or not Kyungsoo had taken the bait.

 _He's not coming,_ Jongin kept telling himself. _He’ll figure out it’s you. Don't get your hopes up. Have you forgotten that he hates you?_

After six sleepless nights, the resort’s HR manager finally called.

“Jongin, this is Tahoe Beach HR. The friend you recruited has signed the papers.”

Jongin gleefully punched his fist in the air twice.

“That's awesome,” he said. “Thanks.”

“And he’ll be rooming with you, right?” The man asked warily. “I don’t have to squeeze three kids into one room or anything?”

Jongin laughed. “No. He’ll be with me.”

“Great. All set, then. See you both soon!”

\--

Jongin arrived at the resort early on the day Kyungsoo was scheduled to come. He cleaned the bathroom, remade the beds, giving Kyungsoo all the fluffy pillows, and stocked the mini-fridge. He showered and was checking himself out in the mirror for the tenth time when Mr. Dayton texted him to say that Kyungsoo was on his way up.

Jongin panicked. _Shit, what do I do?_  He took a deep breath.  _I'll do what I always do: pretend to be cool._

Jongin swung the door open when he heard Kyungsoo put his key in the lock. He flashed Kyungsoo a cocky smile.

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened in horror. "What the hell are you doing here?" He demanded.

Jongin maintained his smile, hoping the other boy wouldn’t notice him shaking.

“I’m here to work,” he shrugged. “How about you?”

Kyungsoo gave him a withering glare. “Weird…I didn’t know spoiled little shits like you knew how to work.”

_Ouch._

“Uh, well m-my mom made me,” Jongin stammered. “But wow, you’re here, too…that’s crazy.” He licked his lips and nodded. “And it looks like we’re sharing a room.”

Kyungsoo shook his head. “No. No fucking way.” He picked his bag back up and headed for the door.

“Wait!” Jongin yelped. Kyungsoo turned, blinking at him in surprise.

Jongin picked at a bracelet on his wrist. “You need this job, right?"

Kyungsoo’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?"

“Nothing,” Jongin said quickly. “It’s just…you came all the way to Tahoe. You must really need the job.”

Kyungsoo mulled it over a while.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jongin noted with nonchalance. “We’re not friends; it's not like we’ll talk. And this room’s pretty big, so let’s just stay out of each other’s way and get through the summer.”

Kyungsoo set down his bags. He plunked down on the edge of one of the twin beds and buried his face in his hands.

 _Close the sale,_ Jongin urged himself.

“Anyway, it's dinner time,” he pointed out as he stood. “Let’s go. If you miss it, you go hungry.”

When Kyungsoo begrudgingly stood, ready to follow him out, the wave of relief that swept over Jongin was overwhelming. He couldn’t hold back his smile, and was too elated to mind when it wasn’t returned.

\--

“They want us down at the pool,” Jongin told Kyungsoo one morning. Not that Mr. Dayton had asked for them specifically, ~~or at all~~ , but he really wanted to spend the morning with Kyungsoo. 

As they folded towels together, Jongin glanced at Kyungsoo’s stack. It was a mess. He chuckled softly.

“No, dude,” he smiled. “Here, try it like this…” Jongin showed Kyungsoo step-by-step.

“Oh…” Kyungsoo murmured. “So you fold it in half first.”

Jongin handed him a towel. “You try.”

Jongin smiled as Kyungsoo started folding like a pro. Kyungsoo was trying so hard to fold the towels properly with his small hands, brows pinched together in concentration.

 _Damn he's cute._ Jongin thought.

Kyungsoo caught him smiling and scowled.

“What?” He demanded. “Did you show me the wrong way and now you’re waiting for me to screw it up? Am I that funny to you? Do it yourself.” He shoved the towel at Jongin and stalked off, plunking down on a chair at the far end of the pool.

 _Shit,_  Jongin thought. _What'd I do?_ He followed Kyungsoo over a few seconds later.

“Kyungsoo," he tried.

“What?” Kyungsoo snapped, causing Jongin to flinch.

“I know you won’t believe this,” Jongin began quietly, “But I really regret how I acted in high school. I’m sorry I was such a dick.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I guess I just hoped that maybe, since we’re both here, we could try being friends.”

The look on Kyungsoo’s face was thunderous.

“Friends?” Kyungsoo laughed. “Do you have any idea how humiliating it was when you and your friends dumped my backpack out every other day? Or when you assholes stole my clothes in gym class? Any idea how it feels to be called 'faggot,' 'fairy,' and 'cocksucker' every day? Let me ask you, Jongin,” he was right in the bigger boy’s face now. “Do you think I have control over who I want to fuck? Do you think if I pray hard enough, I’ll like girls?”

Jongin was speechless. He cast his eyes at the ground in shame.

Kyungsoo shook his head with a rueful smile. “Forget it. A perfect little golden boy like you could never understand how it feels to be hated for who you are.”

Jongin went back to the towel station alone. _He’s right._ Jongin thought as he folded, pausing occasionally to wipe his eyes on his sleeves. _I don’t know what it feels like. I still haven’t even admitted to one single person that I’m gay._

Jongin shook off the hurt. No, he’d just have to keep trying. If he ever wanted to undo the damage he'd caused with Kyungsoo, he would have to try harder.

\--

“They need help in the kitchen,” Mr. Dayton announced, as Jongin strung little white lights for a wedding. Jongin heard Kyungsoo enthusiastically volunteer and he smiled, imagining Kyungsoo pouting in frustration with streaks of flour on his face. At least Luhan would be there to help him.

Jongin froze. Luhan. Gay, pretty, available Luhan. Luhan who had a new boy every summer. He jumped to his feet and ran to the kitchen.

“I’m here too!” Jongin called breathlessly as he entered. “I can help!”

Kyungsoo and Luhan looked up in surprise.

“Oh, Jongin! Hi!” Luhan said. “Thanks, but you don’t have—”

"I want to,” Jongin said quickly, looking at Kyungsoo.

Luhan pointed Jongin to a table that couldn’t have been further away from Kyungsoo if he’d tried. And he probably had, that little shit. Jongin listened with growing annoyance as the two music students got to know one another, giggling together like schoolgirls as they discovered how much they had in common.

Then Luhan told some stupid story about his voice cracking at a concert and there it was: his favorite scrunched up Kyungsoo Do megawatt smile, directed at Luhan, whom he'd only known an hour.

 _He will never look at you like that,_ Jongin reminded himself.  _You're trash._

Jongin's eyes began to sting and he bit fiercely into his lip. He wasn’t about to be caught crying.

"I’m finished, Luhan,” Jongin said, clearing his throat. “I'm going to go upstairs and rest for a while before dinner." He looked at Kyungsoo. "Coming?"

 _Come with me, Kyungsoo,_ he begged silently, _please, please._

"What?” Kyungsoo asked in confusion. “No, I'm not finished here."

"Fine." Jongin said. He threw his apron on the counter and strode out, making a herculean effort to stay cool until he was safely behind the closed door of his room.

\--

Five minutes later, Jongin looked up in surprise as Kyungsoo burst into the room and stalked over to where he lay curled up on the sofa.

"This is your family's place?" He hissed.

Jongin's face grew hot. "H-how did you..."

"Who cares how?" Kyungsoo asked. “So this was all you, right? This job, this room?”

_Oh, fuck you, Luhan._

"I heard you talking to the guidance counselor,” Jongin confessed softly. “About needing a job because you’d be supporting yourself this summer.”

Kyungsoo glared at him in disgust. “So you thought I wanted your charity?”

“No, that’s not it at all…”

“I'm leaving,” Kyungsoo said, grabbing his suitcase.

_What? No, this cannot be happening._

"Whoa, whoa!" Jongin jumped in front of the dresser with his arms spread out. "Why would you leave?"

"Because I fucking hate you!" Kyungsoo spat. "I don’t want anything to do with you and I sure as hell don't want your money!"

Kyungsoo's words pierced through Jongin like bullets.

"Yeah, I know." Jongin said quietly, letting his arms fall to his sides. "I know. But you can't just leave. You signed a contract, right? It's way easier just to...just to stay, okay? Please?"

Kyungsoo looked surprised at Jongin’s sudden outpour of concern.

"I need to think," he muttered.

Kyungsoo wandered out and Jongin let him go, trying not to think the worst when it took half an hour for him to return. Jongin stared hard at his laptop when Kyungsoo came back in, trying to look really engrossed as the boy walked by and flopped onto his bed.

Jongin tried to capture Kyungsoo’s attention, clearing his throat a couple times, but Kyungsoo stayed quiet, his face turned to the wall.

"So..." Jongin finally ventured. "What's it gonna be? You staying?"

"I don’t know,” Kyungsoo grunted.

Jongin could’ve cried.

"Yeah, you do,” Jongin said gratefully. He closed his laptop and crept over to the side of Kyungsoo's bed. "The truth is, you hate giving up even more than you hate me."

“Yeah, whatever.” Kyungsoo muttered, turning toward Jongin and opening his eyes.

There was a moment of stunned silence in which Jongin and Kyungsoo's eyes locked.

Wow, Jongin thought. His face is so close…Jongin allowed his gaze to roam from Kyungsoo’s wide brown eyes to his button nose, coming to rest on his soft, full lips. They were so close...all Jongin had to do was lean closer....

A sudden pounding at the door made them both jump.

"Hey!" Luhan's muffled voice came from the other side of the door. "The banquet’s starting! Let's go!"

\--

Over the next several days, Jongin didn’t see much of Kyungsoo during the day because he’d been made Luhan’s assistant, which Jongin was sure Luhan was really really upset about. Or not.  _Probably asked for Kyungsoo specifically,_ he thought irritably.

Luckily, Jongin was busy with his favorite summer job at the resort. By a mile, it was working with the preschool campers. He had always had a good rapport with little kids and he liked that they were so happy and affectionate.

Some summers, Jongin would click with a certain kid. This year it was Paolo Gomes. Jongin had bonded with the little boy over a soccer game and from then on, Paolo had stuck to him like glue.

The unfortunate thing about working with kids at a resort is that it never lasts long. Paolo had cried and clung to Jongin when it was time to say goodbye and it had bruised Jongin’s already fragile heart.

Before he left, a wet-cheeked Paolo had given Jongin a drawing he’d made of the two of them playing soccer. It was awesome and Jongin treasured it. He was pinning it to the wall when Kyungsoo came back from the kitchen.

"What is that?" Kyungsoo asked, grabbing a bottle of water and plunking down beside him.

"Oh. Well, one of the preschool campers I worked with last week went home today," Jongin said, trying not to sound as bereft as he felt. "But first he gave me this."

Kyungsoo's eyebrows popped up. "The little kid you were playing soccer with?"

Jongin was touched that Kyungsoo remembered seeing him with Paolo. "Yeah. The little guy really took a shine to me. He was crying when we said goodbye." _Damn it._ Jongin thought, sniffling. _Why do I always turn into a crybaby with him?_

Kyungsoo sighed and reached his hand out to tentatively pat Jongin's shoulder. Jongin’s heart leapt at the contact and he looked up at Kyungsoo.

"Oh, sorry," Kyungsoo said, quickly retracting his hand.

"No, I was just...I was surprised.” Emboldened by Kyungsoo’s touch, he decided to take a risk. “Hey, Kyungsoo?"

"Yeah?" The boy asked.

"Will you watch a movie with me?” Jongin asked softly.

"Umm..."

Jongin blinked. Is he blushing?

"Please?" Jongin asked hopefully.

Kyungsoo sank onto the couch in lieu of an answer. Jongin jumped into the seat next to him, unable to contain his gleeful smile. They watched some shitty sci-fi film about aliens or the future or whatever. Jongin wasn't really paying attention.

Jongin must’ve fallen asleep because he was suddenly roused by an on-screen explosion. He went rigid as he realized that his head was resting on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Very slowly, without moving his head, Jongin peeked up at Kyungsoo. He was wide-awake, his eyes glued to the screen as some wicked-looking rocket ship met its end.

That meant Kyungsoo knew Jongin had cuddled up to him in his sleep and hadn’t pushed him away. Jongin stayed where he was, not daring even to twitch. Gradually, he drifted off again, calmer than he’d been all summer.

He awoke to the sound of Kyungsoo’s phone alarm. "Oh God," Kyungsoo blurted. "What time is it?"

Jongin blinked his eyes and yawned as he watched Kyungsoo grasp for his phone in the dark. He looked at his watch. "It’s almost nine, why?"

"Shit."

"Why, are you going somewhere?" Jongin asked. He couldn’t think of any plans Kyungsoo might have this late at night.

Jongin inhaled sharply as Kyungsoo quickly stripped off his khakis and he got a clear shot of Kyungsoo’s little briefs. Then he slid on skinny jeans that perfectly hugged the curve of his ass. Jongin watched with increasing interest as next he pulled off his work polo and tugged a clingy black t-shirt over his head. Then Kyungsoo ran into the bathroom, threw some product in his hair and glossed his lips.

Jesus fuck, he looked hot. Jongin wanted to rip that t-shirt back off, lick that gloss off his lips.

"Wow," Jongin murmured. "Big date tonight or something?"

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. "That's right," he said drily. "I'm going to go hang out with another guy. And no, not just as friends. Gross, right? Still wanna share a room with me?"

Jongin’s world came to a halt as he processed Kyungsoo’s words. Of all the possible things he thought Kyungsoo might be up to, a date definitely wasn’t on the list.

"Wait, what?" Jongin asked, stunned. "Who?"

“Hey guys!” Luhan was standing in their open doorway, smiling warmly. “Ready, Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo nodded, his cheeks heating.

Jongin’s eyes darted between the other two and a flash of realization struck, crushing him.

"So you’re going somewhere?” Jongin asked softly. His eyes were already glassy. He stared at his shoes so the other two wouldn’t notice. “With him?”

Kyungsoo looked at him strangely. “Well, yeah." He replied quietly. "Is it really that weird for you? Two guys?"

 _Two guys? Ha._ Jongin stared at the floor a long time.

Please don’t fucking go, he wanted to plead, but in the end he just shook his head. "No, just go have fun," he muttered.

“Let’s go!” Luhan said, tugging Kyungsoo's arm excitedly. “We'll miss it!”

"Okay, ‘bye then," Kyungsoo said hesitantly.

Jongin just nodded.

\--

Jongin lay curled up on his bed, clutching his pillow, with a hollow feeling in his chest. All the pain of the past year had come flooding back at once. This thing with Kyungsoo was so pathetically one-sided and it always would be. Jongin almost wanted to give up, but that seemed impossible too.

 _So this is how heartbreak feels,_ he thought bitterly. He moved to the couch and curled up in a ball, halfheartedly playing with his phone.

Before he’d even realized it, Jongin had pulled up Hailey Dayton’s number on his cellphone. Hailey’s dad was the resort’s general manager and they’d hooked up every summer since Jongin was in ninth grade. He hovered over it, considering. Hailey was amazing in bed. Maybe even amazing enough to let Jongin forget his pathetic unrequited love for a while.

When Jongin called, Hailey sounded ecstatic to hear from him and it gave his ego a much needed boost. He threw a few lines at her and thirty minutes later, Hailey sat facing him in his lap, her legs dangling at his sides. Jongin smirked at her. Yeah, this he understood. This was easy.

“Hey baby,” Jongin said smoothly.

Hailey smiled. “Hey you.”

“Aren't you wondering why I called?” Jongin asked.

Hailey rolled her eyes. “I know why you called, jerk-off. Only reason you ever call."

Jongin smiled. “Mm, that's why I like older girls. So much less complicated.”

Hailey tilted her head and smiled. “Are you stuck in a complicated situation, Jongin? Is that why you haven't called me yet this summer?"

Jongin laughed ruefully. "Oh, you have no idea."

Hailey snorted. "So, we're being cryptic tonight. Okay, that’s cool.” She smiled at him and started to pull off her shirt.

“No!" Jongin objected. "Leave your clothes on. Just—just suck me off,” he asked desperately. “Please. I need it.”

Hailey’s eyes glittered. “I’ve never heard you beg before, Jongin. It’s hot.” She said, pupils blown. “I would be happy to suck you off. Kiss me first.”

She leaned in to kiss him, and before Jongin realized what he was doing, he turned away.

Hailey looked confused. “Is something wrong?”

"No, Hailey, I’m fine, I swear," Jongin pleaded. "Keep going.”

He tensed up as the girl began to suckle his neck. Hailey stopped and pulled back to look into his eyes. She palmed his soft dick and frowned. “You really don't seem to be into this."

Jongin buried his face in his hands and groaned. No, he was not into this. Not in the least. He slowly stood and helped Hailey to her feet.

"I'm sorry, Hailey,” he said quietly. “I don’t think I can after all. Sorry for wasting your time.”

Hailey exhaled in frustration. “What is going on with you?” She picked up her purse. “Call me when you’re back to normal,” she said, slamming the door as she left.

 _Normal._  Jongin found this hysterical and was still laughing when his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Uh, yeah, um…Jongin?”

“Yeah?”

“This is Dylan from maintenance. So, um, we were all drinking and Kyungsoo showed up. We gave him a few beers and it seems like he maybe he had one too many.”

“What?” Jongin asked anxiously. “Where is he now?”

“We’re on the beach, near the swimming pool.”

“Stay there. I’ll be right down,” Jongin commanded.

Jongin ran to the pool as fast as he could. He spotted a bonfire way down on the beach and he sped towards it.

As he drew nearer, Jongin could make out a small figure curled up in the fetal position. Kyungsoo. Jongin sprinted through the sand to him.

"Kyungsoo?” He called. “Can you hear me?"

Kyungsoo moaned.

"What the hell, you guys?" Jongin demanded angrily.

Jongin lifted Kyungsoo onto his back. Dylan moved to help him, but Jongin wasn't having it.

"I've got him," Jongin said sharply. He glared at the other boys. “You really couldn’t tell he was drinking too much? Look at him, he’s _tiny!_ Damn it! I’ll overlook it this time, but if anything would’ve happened to him…”

Jongin turned to him. “We’re going now, Kyungsoo. Hold on and don’t puke on me.” Kyungsoo nodded and wrapped his legs and arms around him.

Shit. What got the kid so upset that he drank until he passed out? Did Luhan do something? _I’ll kick his ass._

"Luhan?" Kyungsoo murmured.

"Yeah, sure," Jongin replied irritably.

"Um, did you get bigger?" Kyungsoo asked.

Jongin snorted. _At least he knows I'm taller than that punk._

Kyungsoo snuggled his face into Jongin's neck. “You're warm...and you smell nice.”

Jongin stifled a laugh. “Do I?”

“Uh, by the way…s-sorry about earlier,” Kyungsoo mumbled.

“Earlier?"

“You know, when I didn’t wanna make out.” Kyungsoo said miserably.

"Make out? He _kissed_ you?” _I’m definitely kicking his ass._

“Let’s just stay good friends, okay?” Kyungsoo continued sweetly, patting Jongin's shoulder. “You're so nice. Not like Jongin." Kyungsoo frowned. "Jongin…that jerk...he makes me so mad!”

Jongin snorted. "Does he really?”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo mumbled. “First, I couldn't get his stupid pretty face out of my head all night and then, when I went home, he was in our room with a girl...”

Jongin abruptly stopped to process the last five seconds. _Kyungsoo came home early from his date...because of me? Because he couldn’t get my pretty face out of his head?_

“You…heard him with a girl?” Jongin asked, afraid to hear the answer.

Kyungsoo nodded.

"Shit. Wait--" Jongin continued. "Is that why you drank?”

Kyungsoo hesitated and then nodded again. “Jongin likes girls,” he sang miserably. “He likes girls and he hates me."

 _Holy shit._ Jongin thought, his head spinning. _Does he maybe...?_

Kyungsoo sighed. Jongin was quiet for a while. Just before the boy passed out, slumping against Jongin’s back, Jongin spoke. "He doesn't, though, Kyungsoo," he said softly. "He could never, ever hate you."

When he reached their room, Jongin carefully laid Kyungsoo on his bed. Sitting with Kyungsoo, holding his hand and stroking his hair as he slept felt surreal to Jongin. Finally, he leaned in and kissed his forehead.

Jongin got into bed, a huge smile adorning his face as he gazed at Kyungsoo.

_Still haven't figured out I'm crazy about you, huh?_

\--

Early the next day, Jongin prodded Kyungsoo awake with an elated grin. He was going to take Kyungsoo on a date whether they called it that or not and he knew the perfect spot. When Kyungsoo opened his eyes, Jongin burst into a huge smile.

"I want to take you somewhere today!” He announced. Within fifteen minutes, Jongin had Kyungsoo dressed and headed to the car. Kyungsoo shuffled along behind him grumpily.

"Why are we awake, again?" Kyungsoo whined. "I got in kind of late last night."

Jongin snickered. "Oh, did you?"

“Yeah!" Kyungsoo pouted. “Dunno what’s so funny,” he muttered.

Jongin smiled. “Come on, here’s a water bottle and a granola bar, let's go.”

The drive to Jongin's secret destination was forty minutes long. Jongin tried to engage his hungover friend by talking about the area's geology and plant life, but Kyungsoo remained adorably petulant. It wasn't until Jongin turned into a parking lot next to the trailhead that Kyungsoo perked up.

"Are we here?" He asked hopefully.

Jongin held back a smile. "Not really. We still have a twenty minute hike that way." Kyungsoo sighed and Jongin hustled him out of the car and onto the trail. They walked and walked and just about the same moment Kyungsoo looked like he might bolt for the car, Jongin's destination came into view.

"We’re here!” He exclaimed.

Jongin gleefully jogged into the cave, motioning Kyungsoo to follow. Crystal clear water fell over the cave's roof, rushing into a pristine blue lagoon below. All around the lagoon were craggy cliffs and rock walls and clumps of tall, reedy pine trees.

“My dad used to take me here when I was a kid,” Jongin told Kyungsoo softly. “This is my favorite place on Earth."

"It’s beautiful,” Kyungsoo said. “But why did you want to bring me?"

Jongin looked at his shoes and laughed. _Because I wanted to share this place with the guy I like, dummy._

"I…uh… Anyway, look!” Jongin jogged to Kyungsoo’s side, pointing. “This is the best part: it's a perpetual rainbow. No matter what the weather is, if you look at the waterfall from this angle, you see it. It kind of reminds me of you,” he beamed. “Like, no matter what you're going through, or how hard things get, you always reflect this beautiful light.”

"Really?" Kyungsoo looked taken aback. "Thanks, Jongin."

Jongin moved his hands through the water, watching the rainbow cast colorful beams on his skin. "Hmm? For what?" He asked dreamily.

"This place is awesome," he said. "Thanks for showing me."

Jongin broke into wide smile and, for a moment, Kyungsoo looked a bit dazzled. Jongin felt a current run through him. It was a look Jongin had seen many times before on girls, but to see it on Kyungsoo's face...no, he probably imagined it.

"Go stand in front of the waterfall," Jongin urged. "I'll take your picture!"

Kyungsoo awkwardly obeyed him, posing stiffly in front of the scenery. God, he was fucking cute no matter what he did.

Jongin laughed. "No, no, no, that's lame!" He ran over next to Kyungsoo and put his arm around the boy's shoulders, leaning his head against Kyungsoo's.

“Say, ‘Sacred Heart blows!’” Jongin yelled just before snapping the picture. Kyungsoo cackled.

Jongin looked at it and smiled. He showed Kyungsoo. There it was: that breathtaking Kyungsoo Do eye smile, but this time it was all for Jongin.

\--

Late that night, Jongin wandered aimlessly into the kitchen.

“Hey,” Luhan said, looking a bit dejected.

“Hi,” Jongin replied. “What’s up?" Now that he knew Kyungsoo had rejected Luhan, Jongin was feeling a little more charitable towards the guy.

Luhan smiled sadly. “Nothing, man. How’s it going with Kyungsoo?”

Jongin felt his cheeks burn. “Huh?”

“He likes you back, you know,” Luhan muttered.

“What?” Jongin asked suspiciously. “What are you talking about?”

“On our date…” Luhan said quietly. “The whole time...he was thinking about you. You like him too, right?”

Jongin gave a short laugh, staring into his lap. Tears began squeezing out of the corners of his eyes. Quietly having his heart broken over and over had taken its toll.

“Yeah, I do.” Jongin confessed. "He's kind and beautiful and when he smiles it feels like there are a million butterflies in my chest,” Jongin sniffled. “It's like I need to be beside him all the time. Like, just to breathe." Jongin paused to collect himself.

"Actually, the truth is...” he continued, almost afraid to stop. “I fell for him a long time ago.” Jongin’s voice was thick with tears. “He’s brave and honest and unwilling to hide his light from the world and I’m none of those things. I'm just a jerk and a loser who hurt him. He hates me and I don't even blame him. I hate me too."

Jongin blew his nose. "Fuck, it's late,” he said. "Sorry, man. Thanks for listening.”

"I think..." Luhan paused. "I think you should tell him. Give him some credit. If he's the guy you think he is, he might listen."

Jongin laughed hollowly. "No, he can never find out. He'd be on a plane back to L.A. so fast my head would spin. Anyway, ‘night Luhan."

Jongin headed for the stairs and came face-to-face with a stunned Kyungsoo.

 _Oh god, oh fuck…_ He could tell by Kyungsoo’s expression that he’d heard it all.

Jongin hesitated a second and then ran past Kyungsoo, up the stairs and into their room. He locked himself in the bathroom and prayed for death to take him. He heard the door open and close and then Kyungsoo’s soft voice was on the opposite side of the bathroom door.

"Jongin,” he called. "Jongin, I didn’t know." He knocked softly. "Hey..."

Jongin slowly opened the door in utter humiliation. “Stop, okay?” he begged. “Please stop. Please just pretend you didn’t hear."

"At least tell me why, Jongin,” Kyungsoo insisted, looking genuinely puzzled. “Why you made my life a living hell."

"What do you want me to say?” Jongin asked with a bitter laugh. “I was an immature, self-hating gay kid who decided to torment the person I liked. Still like.” He wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

Kyungsoo's mouth fell open and his cheeks turned pink. "That's pretty hard to believe, Jongin," Kyungsoo stammered. "If you really liked me, then why..."

"Because I was a little bitch." Jongin admitted, tears now streaming freely. "If I came out, I'd lose everything. I knew you'd reject me anyway and then I'd be left with nothing. No friends, no sports, I wouldn't even be welcome in the locker room. So I picked on you. Because at least then..." Jongin's wet eyes met his. "You were looking at me."

"I don't believe you,” Kyungsoo huffed. “What about all those girls in high school...and that girl last night?

"No, nothing happened with that girl last night. I don't—I don’t like girls as much..." Jongin turned pink. "As much as I like you. It’s hard to explain.”

Kyungsoo's eyes went impossibly wide. "You're actually serious…"

"Yes."

"Um..."

"Just forget it,” Jongin begged. “This wasn't a confession. Please don’t give me an answer."

Jongin stripped off his shirt and lay on his bed with his arm over his eyes.

"Ah, well, listen,” Kyungsoo said. “I don't hate you. I used to. At the beginning of the summer, yeah, but now...I don't." He cleared his throat. "It's like, one a.m., so I'm gonna turn off the light. We can talk more later."

Jongin nodded. Hiding his face in the dark sounded pretty awesome.

\--

The next day was painfully awkward. Kyungsoo went to great lengths to avoid being alone with Jongin and Jongin returned the favor. After his shift ended at 7, Jongin left a little note in neat script on Kyungsoo's pillow.

Meet me at the dock at 10?

-Jongin

\--

Jongin sat on the edge of the dock, trying to be calm. He really had no idea how this was going to go, or if Kyungsoo would show up at all. He gazed up at the stars, counting them to quell his panic. When at last he heard soft footsteps approaching, Jongin swallowed hard and turned.

It was Kyungsoo, standing in front of him, smiling shyly like had in Jongin’s daydreams. Jongin smiled in elation.

“Hey,” he said softly. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

Kyungsoo smiled and sat beside him. “Of course I came.”

Jongin ducked his head, laughing quietly.

“The sky is really beautiful tonight,” Kyungsoo sighed. “It looks so pretty reflected in the water.”

“Yeah…feels nice too,” Jongin remarked. “With the breeze…”

There was a short, nervous silence and then Jongin took a deep breath.

“Well, um, the other night,” he began nervously, “when you overheard me talking to Luhan…that wasn’t the same as me saying those things to you. So,” he began, facing Kyungsoo. “I wanted a chance to tell you how I feel.” Jongin took another deep breath as his stomach churned.

“I’ve liked you for a long time, Kyungsoo. You’re sweet but tough as hell and you are always honest and unapologetic about who you are. I was a fucking asshole to you for so long and I know I don’t deserve a shot with you, but I really, really want one.”

Kyungsoo stared at the wooden planks below them. Jongin did too, waiting for the rejection.

“This was pretty unexpected,” Kyungsoo said softly. “But also kind of nice.”

 _What?_ “Really?” Jongin squeaked. He looked into Kyungsoo’s eyes. _Please don’t be fucking with me._

Kyungsoo laughed softly. “Yeah. You’re not the person I thought you were,” Kyungsoo confessed. “You’re patient and sweet and good with kids…you’re actually pretty cool, Jongin.”

“Does that mean you kind of…like me too?” Jongin asked, his eyes glinting with hope.

Kyungsoo smiled and swept a strand of hair out of Jongin’s eyes. "Yeah. I guess I kind of do."

Jongin nodded dazedly. "Wow...okay, wow." He stared up at the stars with a dazed half-smile. "I really never thought you'd ever..."

Kyungsoo laughed softly. “Yeah, me either.”

Jongin grinned at him. "You're so damn cute," Jongin whispered. He slowly reached for Kyungsoo's hand, holding it in both of his. "I can’t believe it," Jongin said, looking at the stars. "Three years."

"Huh?"

Jongin blushed. "That's how long I've had a crush on you." Jongin brought Kyungsoo's hand to his lips. "And now I actually got to confess to you."

Jongin leaned in and kissed Kyungsoo once, very softly on the lips, and pulled back. Kyungsoo smiled. The dazzled expression from the cave was back and this time it was definitely caused by Jongin.

Jongin sighed. If this was a dream, he was totally okay with never waking up. He pressed soft kisses on Kyungsoo’s mouth, and then made him giggle by softly biting his lower lip. He pressed his open mouth to Kyungsoo's, licking his lips until he opened for Jongin's tongue. Kyungsoo sighed and slid his hands into Jongin's hair.

Kissing Kyungsoo was perfect. Kyungsoo let Jongin have control: over the slide of their tongues, the angle of his face, and the way their mouths fit together. He let Jongin sweep him away, pausing every now and then to take a gasping breath.

They broke apart, gazes locked. Kyungsoo kissed him once more and stood up. He held a hand out to Jongin. Jongin pouted and tried to pull Kyungsoo back down. Kyungsoo shook his head, smiling widely, and Jongin begrudgingly obeyed. As soon as Jongin got to his feet, he pulled Kyungsoo into his arms, burying his face between the boy’s neck and shoulder.

"We should go back," Kyungsoo whispered, wrapping his arms tightly around Jongin.

Never, Jongin thought, but he reluctantly released Kyungsoo. "Fine," he murmured, "But I'm not letting go of you." He clasped Kyungsoo's hand in his and smiled.

"You sure?" Kyungsoo asked in surprise.

"Yeah!" Jongin said. He hesitated. "We're together now, right?"

Kyungsoo nodded. "Yeah."

"Well come on, then," Jongin said, beaming. "Let's go home."  

As they walked back to the hotel, Jongin squeezed Kyungsoo's hand the entire way.

When they got back, Kyungsoo went into the bathroom and Jongin stretched himself out across his bed, a seductive grin in place.

“Come here,” Jongin said when Kyungsoo emerged. He patted the spot next to him. “Lay down with me."

Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow and Jongin laughed. "I won't pressure you into anything," he promised. "Just come let me hold you."

Kyungsoo climbed in next to Jongin. He curled his body against Jongin’s, hooking one leg over the younger boy’s and sliding an arm over his chest. Jongin wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo and pulled him close. Jongin grinned at the ceiling. He was finally where he belonged: holding Kyungsoo and no longer afraid. Jongin couldn't wait to be seen with him, anywhere by anyone.

“Mmm,” Jongin sighed happily. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” He stroked his fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair and buried his face in it. “Look. We fit together so perfectly. Like we belong together.”

Kyungsoo laughed softly and snuggled into Jongin’s arms and the two of them quickly fell asleep.

\--

"So you told him?" Luhan exclaimed.

Jongin and Kyungsoo ran into him the following day while walking hand-in-hand on the beach.

"Yeah." Jongin wrapped a possessive arm around Kyungsoo's waist. "We're together now."

Luhan smiled. "Damn! You were supposed to be my summer fling, kid,” he lamented. “Well, congratulations," he said, reaching out to ruffle Kyungsoo's hair.

 _Not even_. Jongin stepped between the two.

"Thanks.” He said tightly. “We appreciate that." He turned to Kyungsoo. "Come on, I'll buy you ice cream."

Kyungsoo smiled and allowed Jongin to lead him away.

\--

“So where are you going to school?” Jongin asked as the boys cuddled on the sofa.

“USC,” Kyungsoo replied proudly. “I got into their Vocal Arts program. It’s really competitive and the program has tons of connections in the industry. How about you?”

Jongin was crushed. “Columbia, because I’m a legacy,” he mumbled. “And business school, because I’m the only child of investors.”

“Oh.” Kyungsoo’s face fell. “Wow. Can’t get much further apart than New York and L.A.”

“Hey,” Jongin said, pressing a kiss to Kyungsoo’s jaw. “We still have lots of time together. Don’t think about that right now, okay?”

Kyungsoo nodded. “Okay.”

“So, Vocal Arts, huh?” Jongin grinned. “I think you should sing me to sleep tonight.”

Kyungsoo laughed. “You’ve never even heard me sing. What if I suck?”

Jongin smiled and pressed his lips to the top of Kyungsoo's head. No reason to hide it now. "I've heard you sing," he admitted. "You sure as hell don't suck."

"What?” Kyungsoo looked at him in surprise. “When?"

Jongin tried to remember all of the times. "Mm, whenever I could. Every school choir concert and musical, twice in concert at the arts center, and," Jongin smiled sheepishly, "man, four times when you did Les Mis at the Pantages.” He blushed. “Is that weird?”

Kyungsoo stared at Jongin. When he leaned in to kiss him, Jongin could see tears in his eyes. “Yeah,” Kyungsoo murmured. “Weirdo.”

Jongin laughed and tugged playfully on Kyungsoo’s hair, pulling his head back and pressing open-mouthed kisses on his lips until Kyungsoo kissed him back.

“I love kissing you,” Jongin whispered against Kyungsoo’s lips. “It's so different, kissing you.”

Kyungsoo frowned. "Because I'm a guy?"

Jongin laughed softly. "No, because you means something to me."

His mouth found Kyungsoo’s again, his kisses getting softer and deeper. Kyungsoo kissed back, his hand slipping into Jongin’s hair. Eventually, he surprised Jongin by climbing right into his lap.

Jongin wanted to be good, but he'd been celibate for months now. He looked up at Kyungsoo with a touch of desperation, caressing the boy’s face with his fingertips. Kyungsoo leaned in to kiss him and when their bodies touched, Jongin quietly gasped.

“Goddamn.” He groaned when Kyungsoo rubbed against him again. “That’s it, baby. Grind me.”

Jongin pulled off his t-shirt, then Kyungsoo’s, and both boys shimmied out of their pajama bottoms. Jongin yanked Kyungsoo back into his lap and kissed him.

"These little fucking briefs you wear…fuck!" Jongin growled, squeezing Kyungsoo's ass. 

Kyungsoo groaned. "Help me take 'em off," he said urgently as he rolled onto his back.

Jongin was going out of his mind. “Goddamn it, come here.” He pulled Kyungsoo’s white briefs off desperately, reaching to touch Kyungsoo as soon as he could. 

“Yeah...” Kyungsoo moaned as Jongin stroked him, his fingernails digging into Jongin’s arms.

“Yeah? Feel good?” Jongin asked, his mind growing fuzzy.

“Ungh, yes,” Kyungsoo groaned.

“Can I give you head, Soo?” he breathed

Kyungsoo stopped writhing against Jongin, a furious blush heating his cheeks. "I, uh...I don't know..."

Jongin looked into his eyes curiously. “No? Are you nervous?"

Kyungsoo’s mouth ran dry as he nodded.

"Because it’s your first time?”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo admitted in a whisper.

“Don't be nervous," Jongin murmured, pressing his lips to Kyungsoo's forehead. "You trust me?"

Kyungsoo nodded.

"Okay then, wanna try? If you’re uncomfortable, I'll stop."

"Yeah, okay," Kyungsoo said softly. 

Jongin gently grasped Kyungsoo’s cock and went to work on him. It was his first time sucking cock, so he just did to Kyungsoo what he liked done to himself. He sheathed his teeth and sucked as deep as he could. He bobbed his head up and down and then slid back up to tongue the head and slit. Kyungsoo was moaning nonstop, his legs shaking as Jongin's wet mouth brought him closer and closer to the edge.

Kyungsoo’s hips started bucking up and down and Jongin knew he was close.

“Gonna come for me, babe?” Jongin purred from between Kyungsoo’s legs.

He watched Kyungsoo’s face contort beautifully as he came. Jongin tried to swallow, but the boy spurted so many times that he ended up gagging. He recovered himself and laughed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He pulled Kyungsoo into his arms.

"What happened?" He asked teasingly.

Kyungsoo buried his face in Jongin's shoulder. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Don't be sorry. Shit, I’m proud.” Jongin murmured. "I made my boyfriend come in like, five minutes."

Kyungsoo laughed. "Yeah, it was good, okay? Want me to...?" Kyungsoo's eyes fell on his hard cock.

"Well actually,” Jongin said. “I had something else in mind..."

"Like what?" Kyungsoo asked curiously.

Jongin hovered over him. Should he try? Kyungsoo stared back at him, doe-eyed and pure. Jesus Christ, of course not. "Ah, nothing," he murmured. He pulled Kyungsoo back into his lap and wrapped his arms around the boy. "Are you...by any chance...? Have you never..."

Kyungsoo caught on. "Oh...yeah," he whispered, hiding his warm face in the crook of Jongin's neck. "I'm a virgin."

"Wow," Jongin whispered, lifting Kyungsoo's chin so their eyes would meet. "Fuck, that’s hot." He dropped his gaze. “I hope I'll be your first someday." He said, his voice soft and hopeful.

Kyungsoo smiled. "Yeah," he whispered. "Um, but for now," his eyes trailed down Jongin's body."I wanna jerk you off."

Jongin's eyes widened. He sucked in a breath as Kyungsoo ran a hand over Jongin's tight torso and down. Kyungsoo's grip was perfect and his hand soft and warm. Jongin's eyes never left his hand as it pumped and stroked him. Kyungsoo Do was actually jerking him off, and he needed to commit this to memory in case it was a one-time thing.

But because it was Kyungsoo, and because he hadn't been laid in half a year, Jongin found himself gripping Kyungsoo's shoulder and begging him to slow down embarrassingly quickly. When he came, furiously fucking Kyungsoo's fist and groaning too loudly, it was in half the time it had taken Kyungsoo.

"Oh," he said, looking up at Jongin's face with wide eyes. "That was kinda fast..."

"Shut it!" Jongin laughed, rolling over on top of Kyungsoo. He stared down at Kyungsoo's beautiful smiling face and brushed the hair off his forehead, as happy and relaxed as he'd ever be.

"I did it on purpose," he claimed. "So you wouldn't be embarrassed."

"Yeah right!" Kyungsoo shouted, tickling him furiously and pushing him on his back. He reached out to touch Kyungsoo's face and Kyungsoo grabbed his hand and held it there.

"Kyungsoo?"

"Yeah?"

"I uh, really, _really_ like you."

Kyungsoo smiled. "I know."

\--

The rest of the summer found Jongin and Kyungsoo in each other's arms as often as possible.

They'd hurry to finish things up at the end of the workday, inhale their dinner, and then race each other to the bedroom, locking the door behind them. They'd strip each other down, jump in bed, and stay there, exploring every inch of each other, getting each other off until they passed out from exhaustion.

\--

Their parting came much too soon.

On August 15th, Jongin and Kyungsoo sat on a bench at Reno International Airport together, one with a ticket to New York City, the other with a ticket to LAX.

"Why did we do this?” Kyungsoo asked quietly. “When it hurts so much now?"

 _Oh, sweetheart,_ Jongin thought. _Don’t say shit like that. I’m barely holding it in as it is._

Jongin scooted close to Kyungsoo and put an arm around his waist. Kyungsoo rested his head on Jongin’s shoulder.

"Look," Jongin said, dashing away tears. "I got something a few days ago when I was in town.” Jongin reached into his jacket and retrieved a small white velvet box. Inside were two silver rings, one big, the other small.

“So, the thing is, I don’t want to break up,” Jongin said nervously. “I want to try and make it work with calling and texting and Skype or whatever. I can save the money my parents give me to blow on stupid shit to come and visit you instead. So what do you think? Can we try?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes shined with new tears and he kissed Jongin.

“Yeah, let’s try.”

Jongin grinned and kissed him back. He pressed his forehead to Kyungsoo’s.

“Kyungsoo, I love you,” he whispered.

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. He held out his hand and Jongin slid the small ring on his left ring finger. Kyungsoo slid the big one on Jongin’s.

Kyungsoo threw his arms around Jongin. “I love you too.” He kissed Jongin long and hard.

A stewardess came on the loudspeaker then to announce that Kyungsoo’s flight was boarding. Their time was up.

“Ready to go?” Jongin asked.

“Until we meet again,” Kyungsoo answered.

\--

_Four Months Later_

\--

The traffic from LAX to Northridge was total bullshit on the afternoon Jongin came home from school. When the cab finally dropped him off at the little flower shop where Kyungsoo worked, Jongin was about to lose it.

The door was unlocked, so creaked it open and peeked inside.

Jongin's heart leapt; there Kyungsoo was, moving pallets of flowers around and looking very gloomy.

There was a chalkboard just inside the shop, with the words “I miss Jongin.” right in the middle.

Jongin felt a pang of guilt. You miss me, huh? He had told Kyungsoo he couldn't make it back for Christmas. He figured that would make it a bigger surprise when he did, but now he was having regrets.

Jongin waited for Kyungsoo to go back outside and erased his message, replacing it with “I miss Kyungsoo.”

As Kyungsoo came back through the front, he glanced at the chalkboard. His eyes went wide and he and stopped and spun around.

“Hello?” Kyungsoo called cautiously. “Someone there?”

“Just me,” Jongin said, grinning from ear to ear as he stepped into view.

“Jongin!” Kyungsoo yelped, jumping into his arms. “What are you doing here?”

Jongin laughed. “I’m here to see you!”

Kyungsoo lowered his eyebrows and smacked Jongin in the shoulder. “You know what I mean. You said you couldn’t come home for Christmas!”

Jongin shrugged. “I lied.” He cackled when Kyungsoo smacked him again.

Kyungsoo hugged him tight and gazed into his eyes. “I can’t believe you’re really here,” Kyungsoo whispered, his eyes getting misty.

Jongin slid his hands over Kyungsoo’s back. “Me either,” he smiled. He captured Kyungsoo’s mouth with his, kissing him with all his heart.

“Mm,” Kyungsoo breathed. “I really missed that. Um, let me get this place closed for the day and we’ll get out of here.”

\--

They went to a quiet coffee shop with dim lighting and cushy well-worn chairs. They smiled across the table at each other as they sipped their lattes.

“I missed you so much,” Jongin murmured.

“I know you did,” Kyungsoo giggled. “I have the seven million texts to prove it.”

“Oh, hey now!” Jongin objected. “You texted me at least six million!”

“Well, I missed you, too,” Kyungsoo admitted with a wistful smile. “So much.”

“Um, about that,” Jongin said, reaching out to take Kyungsoo’s hands. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Jongin?” A gruff voice interrupted. He whipped his head up in annoyance, which quickly turned to cold fury once he saw meat-headed Garrett Miller making his way towards them.

Garrett “I hate fags” Miller. They’d been on the football team together. Jongin had never liked the guy, but a couple months back, when Kyungsoo told him that Garrett used to punch and kick him when no one else was around, the guy went on Jongin’s hit list.

“What the fuck, Kim?” He asked disgustedly. “You hanging out with faggots now?”

Jongin shot out of his chair, ready to kill. “You got a problem, Miller?

“I always got a problem with cocksuckers,” Garrett sneered.

“Then, I guess you got a problem with me, bitch,” Jongin hissed.

“What?” Garrett looked a little sick. “You fucking serious? You turn fucking gay at college or something?”

“No, bro, I was always gay. All those times we showered together, all the times you crashed at my place after a game, always. No worries, though. Never thought about fucking you once. I have standards.”

Jongin really wanted to beat the shit out of Garrett, but he was pretty sure Kyungsoo didn’t want that on his first day back, so he needed to leave now. He threw a few dollars on the table, held his hand out to Kyungsoo, and they left, Jongin bumping hard against Garrett as he passed.

\--

As Jongin angrily stomped out of the café, Kyungsoo seized his arm.

“Hey, stop!"

Jongin whirled around, still in a rage.

"Thank you," Kyungsoo said breathlessly, "for standing up to that guy. That was really cool."

"Baby, no,” Jongin grimaced. “That wasn't cool. That was a reminder of what a piece of shit I used to be."

“Maybe for you, but Jongin, for me that was awesome.” Kyungsoo said gently. “You know, I forgave you a long time ago for what happened in high school. You should really forgive yourself.”

Jongin sighed. He reached for Kyungsoo and hugged him tight, resting his forehead on the other boy's small shoulders.

“I need you so badly," he murmured. "Just to stay sane.”

Kyungsoo held him until his anger subsided and he was smiling again. “Feel better?” He asked. Jongin nodded. “So what were you about to tell me in there?”

“Oh, that…” Jongin smiled sheepishly. “Well, last semester was really, really hard. Academically, Columbia just kicked my ass. And the weather there sucks. And, well, the truth is, I fucking missed you. I don’t want to just text and face-time, I want to hold you. Every day. So…” Jongin drew in a deep breath, “I transferred to UCLA.”

Kyungsoo's mouth fell open.

Jongin panicked. "D-don't freak out. I know I should've discussed it with you, but I just got excited and—"

Kyungsoo laughed threw his arms around Jongin. When he pulled back, his eyes were shining. “What are you talking about? I’m so fucking happy.”

“You are?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Kyungsoo asked in confusion.

“I don’t know. Maybe you were secretly planning to break up with me or something.”

“What?" Kyungsoo exclaimed. "What are you saying, you jerk?"

Jongin gave him a self-conscious grin and shrugged.

"Anyway," Kyungsoo continued nonchalantly. "Aren’t you at all interested in seeing my new place?”

Jongin grinned and hugged him. “Yes. I am emphatically interested in seeing your new place.”

“Then let’s go."

\--

They burst into Kyungsoo's apartment, mouths pressed together, groping, and tearing at each other's clothes. Jongin walked Kyungsoo backwards, pushing him onto the bed and framing his small hips with his knees.

"Jongin," Kyungsoo moaned. "I wanna..." he swallowed hard. “God, please fuck me.”

Jongin's dick twitched. "You sure?"

Kyungsoo nodded, whimpering.

"But you're first guy I’ve ever been with," Jongin whispered. "What if I fuck up and hurt you or something?”

Kyungsoo smiled and pressed his forehead to Jongin’s.

“I trust you,” he whispered. “I’ll tell you if you hurt me.”

Kyungsoo’s reassuring smile set Jongin's mind at ease. "Yeah, okay. I trust you too, you know?"

Kyungsoo grinned and pulled Jongin's face down to kiss him. "Make me yours."

Jongin groaned and settled in between his boyfriend's legs. "So, how does this go?" He asked with a nervous smile.

Kyungsoo looked away. "Well, I, um, need to prep first… I've been trying it on my own.” He was blushing furiously now. “Wanna see?"

“Yeah.” Jongin said softly, his voice low. "Hell yes."

Kyungsoo curled onto his side. With one hand pulling on the end of his slowly hardening cock, he reached down with the other, eyes shut as he inserted a finger into his snug little hole.

“Oh God, baby," Jongin groaned. "You look so fucking hot."

Kyungsoo gazed up at Jongin; lips parted in arousal, and worked in a second, then a third. Jongin stared as the smaller boy fucked himself on his fingers, his body loosening and opening for Jongin.

"I'm ready now," Kyungsoo gasped.

"What about lube?”

"Nightstand.”

Jongin retrieved the little bottle and smoothed the liquid over his cock.

"Okay, ready?” He breathed, mind reeling.

Kyungsoo nodded. Jongin ran his fingers smoothly over the soft skin of Kyungsoo's ass and positioned him on his hands and knees. He put his cock against Kyungsoo's tight entrance and held his breath as he worked in just the tip.

"Oh shit!” Kyungsoo cried. “Ah, wait a sec, it hurts!”

"Fuck, sorry." Jongin panted. "You're so fucking tight. Should I stop?"

"No! Don't stop," Kyungsoo cried. "Just give me a second."

Jongin kissed the nape of Kyungsoo's neck and skimmed his hand down the boy’s smooth chest and abs. He circled his hand around Kyungsoo's cock and started stroking.

Kyungsoo moaned and bucked his hips and Jongin felt his body unclench a little. "More," Kyungsoo grunted.

"You sure?" Jongin asked.

"Yeah..."

Jongin slid in a little further, stroking Kyungsoo faster, squeezing his cock a little tighter. Kyungsoo started fucking his fist outright.

"Okay." Kyungsoo groaned. "I'm ready. I want it. All of it."

Jongin slid in with a broken groan. "Oh fuck, it's tight! Shit. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kyungsoo whimpered. "Does it feel good?"

Jongin's laughter came out in a huff. "Yeah. Fucking amazing."

"Okay, you can move now,” Kyungsoo said.

Jongin relaxed just enough to try pulling out a little and back in and, oh, fuck; he had to pause again because his balls were so tight they hurt. This wasn't like fucking a girl. This wasn't like anything else ever. He held Kyungsoo as tightly as he could, burying his face against Kyungsoo’s neck, scraping his teeth against the boy's porcelain skin. Jongin gradually picked up the pace, his moans getting more ragged with every snap of his hips, the tension in his groin threatening to break any moment.

Kyungsoo was grinding his ass right up against Jongin's hips, brokenly moaning his name.

"Kyungsoo, that's..." Jongin warned desperately. "Baby, you gotta stop or..."

"Jesus fuck, it feels good! Don't you dare fucking stop! Come in me, Jongin,” Kyungsoo begged.

"Oh God, Kyungsoo!" Jongin slammed into him two more times, then smashed a pillow in his face to muffle the groans his orgasm ripped from his throat. He immediately went to work stroking Kyungsoo fast and tight, the older boy fucking into his hand furiously.

"Jongin...oh fuck. Baby, I'm gonna fucking come." Kyungsoo opened his mouth in a silent scream as he shot his release onto Jongin's toned stomach.

They lay together a while, waiting for their heartbeats to slow, then Kyungsoo started to wiggle out from under Jongin.

"Wait!" Jongin cried. "Not yet, okay?"

Kyungsoo smiled and turned over so they were face to face.

"Don't you want a towel? You're all messy."

Jongin gazed into Kyungsoo’s eyes for a long moment and then smiled.

"I don't deserve this, or you,” he whispered. “I'm so fucking lucky."

"As long as you remember that," Kyungsoo deadpanned.

Jongin laughed. "Always, I promise." His face grew serious. "I love you, Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo’s face softened. "I love you, too."

Jongin's eyebrows shot up and his face turned a warm shade of pink. "Really?" He asked with a touch of vulnerability.

Kyungsoo laughed. "Yeah, pretty sure," he answered, kissing the tip of Jongin's nose. "So anyway, when you moving in?"

 


End file.
